No Regrets

We received the phone call. You know the one......kinda like the call you receive in the middle of the night and you roll over and answer it knowing it won't be good news. Our agency rep left a message telling me the news was not good. She said Thailand had sent the dreaded letter and she had emailed it to us. I went right away to check it thinking something like "Well we've already heard the worst.....they already want to take our daughter away from us. What's next? Surely it can't be that bad!"

It was.

It was a huge shock. I just sat staring for a while thinking I must be reading it wrong. They want us to come to Seattle and leave Brooke in the care of WACAP? They're flying back to Thailand on the 5th??? No....no....this can't be happening. We need more time! We haven't had enough time! I was planning to take Brooke school shopping at the end of July. I thought it would be fun to buy her some new clothes and some fun school supplies. There were so many more things we had planned. We were hoping to go visit my sister and my grandparents this year so Brooke could meet some more relatives on my side of the family. We had so many plans! They were all plans designed for our family of 4.

When we heard the news we looked at the date right away. By the time we were notified we had less than 2 weeks to spend with our daughter. Now we're down to 9 days. I am still in disbelief! 9 days to do and say everything we've ever wanted to do as a family, everything we've ever wanted to say to her. What would you say if you had only 9 days left to spend with your family? If someone were tearing you away ....what would you say and what would you do? We've just been spending time together. I have to work tomorrow and I hate it. I will be gone all day.... gone from my daughter all day long knowing that it's one more day I could spend getting to know her! Laughing with her and teaching her English! Listening to her jokes and hearing her talk about how sad she is and that she doesn't want to go. She keeps asking me if Thailand called and then she says she wants to talk to them on the phone. When we tell her we are going to take her to the worker in Seattle she groans and says "Noooo....sad, mom! Brooke sad!" I told her that we have taught her to have her own voice and she needs to use it! I told her she can tell them how much she loves us and how much fun she had in our home! But I told her they will take her, and she will need to tell them when she's hungry and thirsty and tired and when she needs to use the bathroom. I told her to talk to them and let them know how smart she is! I told her to show them how she can write English and that she's learning to read and she's just so smart!!! And I told her when she gets back to her foster home to give her foster mother a hug....because that's what Americans do....we hug each other to let each other know how we feel. I told her she can teach her foster mother English now and how to write the alphabet. And I told her to tell her foster mother that I said "Thank You for letting me have Brooke for such a short amount of time". I loved every moment of it.....And I would do it again a thousand times over.