Ya know, I was thinking about something Nok did when we first got home and it just made me laugh. I may have already mentioned it to you but I just think it's the cutest thing ever! When we took Cody to school the first Monday we were home, Nok was blowing into the air in little puffs to see her breath. She tried it this morning but it wasn't cold enough and there wasn't enough moisture in the air to make it work. She seemed a bit disappointed but I kept thinking to myself, "just wait til January. Kiddo, you'll get your fill of cold air and wonder what on earth has happened!" No, I'm not looking forward to it at all. Neither is Tommy. Cody asked the other day if God ever made snow that was warm. I said, "hunny, it's already on the ground and it's called sand".
The International Festival is happening this weekend! We are soooo excited! You can purchase tickets to redeem for food and drinks at different booths. There are booths and crafts and people from all over the world there! It's so fun and I think Nok is confident enough w/ our family now that she will have a really good time. The different societies also put on little culture shows and they are the koolest shows ever! They say it ends at 9 but they usually end around 10pm. It's a blast and we love the different foods. Of course Thai, Filippino, and Japanese foods are our favorites.
Yesterday, I had taken Cody to spend her two birthday gift certificates and she was so sweet to Nok. She said "here, Nok, you can have one of my gift cards because I don't want you to feel left out and not get a present." Nok wandered around the store for an hour and couldn't find anything she wanted so I finally got a kitten puzzle. She was pretty bummed at first but I was ready to go home. When we got home I sat her down in front of the puzzle and then Tommy and Cody ended up helping a bit. Everyone put in 4 or 5 pieces and then let Nok take off w/ it. She was done in no time and then took it apart and put it back together again in about 3 minutes!!!! It was a junior puzzle but holy cow! I couldn't have done that! Then we cheered her on and she laughed and laughed! I thought she may be good at memory games so I got out Cody's My Little Pony memory game. She kept up for the most part but would tend to get stuck on one particular pony that she would turn over every single time. Tommy would kinda set it up so she would see a familiar card and then she could find the other pretty fast. I took a picture of the girls playing the My Little Pony game w/ their Dad. I got to play a little but I was cooking dinner. It was really exciting to see them all having so much fun and I told Tommy it was good for him.....it brought out the little girl in him. I don't think he thought that was very funny though.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Marching Band
I don't think it was so much of an accident. She's been shyly kissing back at me ever since that first night. I like it and I'm pretty sure, secretly, Nok likes it too haha! Dad thinks it's cute and Cody thinks it's pretty silly!
So, after calling every single day for a week, I finally got someone to call me back from the school district. They want to put Nok in a regular classroom and monitor her and provide for her needs in a basic classroom setting instead of putting her in the special education program right away. They did say that if she needs the special ed program that they will be happy to put her there but they really want to see if they can bring her up to speed this way first. I'm happy with the decision and I think Nok will be thrilled to get back into school. We can tell she really misses it and really needs the socialization and "people" skills. I think it will serve well to plunge her into English and encourage her to learn. Right now she is really dependent on a particular Thai CD she has, and although I am hesitant to take it from her, I think she is leaning too much on it. We'll see how things look next week. Nok is doing really well w/ the schooling I am able to provide but still refuses to speak English to me. She will speak to Tommy and Cody but not to me. I can ask her questions until I am blue in the face but I get absolutely no verbal response. Last night I did get her to whisper "yes" to me though. I was cooking dinner and I asked if she was hungry. I didn't look up to watch her nod although I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She nodded and I asked again. I asked if she was hungry about 12 times and she finally whispered yes. Naturally, I responded positively but she just grinned and headed back to her room to listen to her Thai CD. It's interesting that she always turns it on right away after we have done school for the morning. I did catch her watching herself in the mirror yesterday as she recited the ABC's to herself in a violent whisper! It was so funny! I laughed and asked what she was doing and she just snickered and went back to whispering to herself.
And.....Nok has learned how to whistle and how to snap. She learned how to snap just before we left Thailand and thought it was the neatest thing. Then a few days ago I noticed she kept puckering up in front of the mirror. I ignored it thinking it was something silly she was doing. Then yesterday while we were driving down the road I heard my wheels squealing and thought I must have dirt in them. But the squealing seemed random. And then I noticed my wheels even squealed when I was stopped. By turning my head a bit I realized what it was. I flipped down my mirror and watched her pucker up and whistle! She was so pleased w/ herself she whistled for Dad! Then I had Tommy, Nok and Cody all whistling something different at the same time! It was interesting anyway. Today Nok decided to whistle and snap at the same time. I had my very own marching band!
We've had ins and outs but things seem to be going well. What would I do w/out those behind the scenes friends and family members? The ones I call when I am flipping out or need advice or even a bit of translation! Thank you all......and thank you to everyone for your prayers and kind words and endless encouragement. I think of you daily and wish you all the best.
So, after calling every single day for a week, I finally got someone to call me back from the school district. They want to put Nok in a regular classroom and monitor her and provide for her needs in a basic classroom setting instead of putting her in the special education program right away. They did say that if she needs the special ed program that they will be happy to put her there but they really want to see if they can bring her up to speed this way first. I'm happy with the decision and I think Nok will be thrilled to get back into school. We can tell she really misses it and really needs the socialization and "people" skills. I think it will serve well to plunge her into English and encourage her to learn. Right now she is really dependent on a particular Thai CD she has, and although I am hesitant to take it from her, I think she is leaning too much on it. We'll see how things look next week. Nok is doing really well w/ the schooling I am able to provide but still refuses to speak English to me. She will speak to Tommy and Cody but not to me. I can ask her questions until I am blue in the face but I get absolutely no verbal response. Last night I did get her to whisper "yes" to me though. I was cooking dinner and I asked if she was hungry. I didn't look up to watch her nod although I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She nodded and I asked again. I asked if she was hungry about 12 times and she finally whispered yes. Naturally, I responded positively but she just grinned and headed back to her room to listen to her Thai CD. It's interesting that she always turns it on right away after we have done school for the morning. I did catch her watching herself in the mirror yesterday as she recited the ABC's to herself in a violent whisper! It was so funny! I laughed and asked what she was doing and she just snickered and went back to whispering to herself.
And.....Nok has learned how to whistle and how to snap. She learned how to snap just before we left Thailand and thought it was the neatest thing. Then a few days ago I noticed she kept puckering up in front of the mirror. I ignored it thinking it was something silly she was doing. Then yesterday while we were driving down the road I heard my wheels squealing and thought I must have dirt in them. But the squealing seemed random. And then I noticed my wheels even squealed when I was stopped. By turning my head a bit I realized what it was. I flipped down my mirror and watched her pucker up and whistle! She was so pleased w/ herself she whistled for Dad! Then I had Tommy, Nok and Cody all whistling something different at the same time! It was interesting anyway. Today Nok decided to whistle and snap at the same time. I had my very own marching band!
We've had ins and outs but things seem to be going well. What would I do w/out those behind the scenes friends and family members? The ones I call when I am flipping out or need advice or even a bit of translation! Thank you all......and thank you to everyone for your prayers and kind words and endless encouragement. I think of you daily and wish you all the best.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The Moment
Sorry I haven't blogged in forever! I have been very very sick! It started when we first got back and I ate some American food but then it somehow moved right on into something more serious. I am feeling much better today but I don't want to over do it and be back laying on the couch moaning and clutching my stomach. I was hoping to get my test results back yesterday but my doc hasn't called yet. We think it must be a parasite or something like that. The doc at Urgent care thinks I got it in Thailand and it finally activated itself. Goody....just what I always wanted.
Nok is doing great. She has adjusted very quickly and seems thrilled to be here most days. A few days ago I had gotten some pictures back and gave her some. I nearly cried because I missed Thailand so much but Nok never shed a tear. She did laugh at the way she looked in some of the photos. Most of the time she was giving me her most fierce face and even letting me know she couldn't stand me but I took the pic anyway. Now I know she regrets acting that way. When I pull out the camera now she smiles and she's even learning to pose like Cody does!
We don't make a big deal out of halloween but Cody does like to dress up a little and trick or treat in safe places. This year Cody was a Tiger and Nok was a cat. It was very interesting trying to paint whiskers on Nok's face w/ eyeliner while she continuously wiped it away. I finally convinced her to be still and not wipe it and leave the cat ears on. She thought we were so silly until we got to the shopping center and all the other kids were dressed up too. Then she thought it was fun to hold out her little bag for candy. The first place we hit the lady insisted Nok say "trick or treat" before she would give her candy. Nok just smiled and held out her bag. After the gal insisted a few times I finally laughed and told her Nok doesn't speak English. Talk about wanting to melt into the floor! The poor gal was so embarrassed she gave Nok extra lol! The girls feasted on candy and played some games and I learned something new about my kids. Cody is determined and has the desire to make it work for her, Nok is determined and demands it works for her! She wouldn't play the games at first and I asked several times. You could tell she thought it childish at first. Then she saw how the game was actually played and that it was in fact challenging and then she nearly squirmed and begged to play. Right away she nearly got it right. She had the right idea but it took a few minutes to get it and then I thought for a moment she was actually going to throw up her hands and shout that she did it. But then of course, she remembered herself and just grinned. I cheered for both of my girls and they won some play dough. I had Cody show Nok right away to not put the play dough in her mouth but to shape it instead. Oh my goodness! She loved it! Looks like play dough will be on Nok's Christmas list.
The Pumpkin Patch was a whole new story. This kid loves the maze!!!! When we first went in she was a bit nervous but then when she realized we were all looking for each other she began running! I could hear her racing through the maze laughing under her breath and snickering when she tricked Cody and headed another direction. Since I was so sick I wasn't able to play long, so I ended up sitting w/ Tommy on a bench and just listening to the girls laughing and running through the maze. Then Nok roasted a marshmallow for the first time. Roasted is the key word here. She just kept lighting it on fire and snickering until I finally took it and pulled it off the stick. She ate it and thought it over, raced through the maze and came back to watch Dad make smores. She loves smores! Finally, Cody showed her where the haunted house was. They were both too scared to go in the big one but the little one was light w/ windows so they went in and Nok just laughed and laughed. We stood outside the door watching her while she prodded and poked at the heads and innards and pointed and giggled at the skeletons. Then we bought little pumpkins for them and I am sure to find them in about 2 months stashed in a drawer somewhere.
We carved pumpkins a few days ago and the girls cleaned the insides out for me. Nok thought it was gross but of course she paused and smiled for the camera. She did think pumpkin carving was strange but neat when I finished. We made a Sun a Moon and a Star. We talked about God's creation and how wonderful it is that He allows us these neat things called pumpkins, and that halloween was originally All Saints Day. Now All Saints Day is November 1st.
We are schooling about 45 minutes to an hour a day. I start loosing Nok's attention about 40 minutes into the lesson so yesterday I tried throwing in a snack in the middle of the lesson. Didn't work. There is just too much going on at home for her to pay attention and she wants soooo badly to be at school. You can tell she loves school. The first day we took Cody in to school after we got back home, Nok headed right to a classroom and seemed perfectly at ease. The Kindergarten teacher is a child magnet and Nok is nuts about her. When we left Cody there and headed for the door Nok was suddenly depressed. I am calling the district again today to see if they can fit her in a couple days a week now instead of starting in the new semester. I think Nok will be much happier and learn a lot more that way. Besides, I am not a teacher and I've never claimed to be. I think it will be smoother on us all and allow Nok some time away from the house. Everyone needs a day off now and then.
Being sick has allowed me plenty of time to think. Mostly about my stomach ache but every now and then I think about how different things are now, but again how they haven't changed at all. We have added a new family member and we couldn't be happier. I know we'll face tough times, everyone does at some point. Even w/ biological children, parents can feel overwhelmed, but we took an even bigger challenge when we took a teen w/ a developmental delay. I know we will eventually see defiance again, maybe a lot of grieving and home sickness, hard times and easy times. But right now I can be happy and say this is the best thing we ever did. I am living in the moment.
Every night at bed time I kiss Cody and then turn to Nok and kiss the air around her face and say Good night ladies. Last night Nok forgot herself and kissed back at me. She quickly realized she had goofed and hadn't meant to do that so she covered her face w/ her blanket and giggled while Dad and I just cracked up laughing. We'll try it again tonight and see how much of an accident it was!
Nok is doing great. She has adjusted very quickly and seems thrilled to be here most days. A few days ago I had gotten some pictures back and gave her some. I nearly cried because I missed Thailand so much but Nok never shed a tear. She did laugh at the way she looked in some of the photos. Most of the time she was giving me her most fierce face and even letting me know she couldn't stand me but I took the pic anyway. Now I know she regrets acting that way. When I pull out the camera now she smiles and she's even learning to pose like Cody does!
We don't make a big deal out of halloween but Cody does like to dress up a little and trick or treat in safe places. This year Cody was a Tiger and Nok was a cat. It was very interesting trying to paint whiskers on Nok's face w/ eyeliner while she continuously wiped it away. I finally convinced her to be still and not wipe it and leave the cat ears on. She thought we were so silly until we got to the shopping center and all the other kids were dressed up too. Then she thought it was fun to hold out her little bag for candy. The first place we hit the lady insisted Nok say "trick or treat" before she would give her candy. Nok just smiled and held out her bag. After the gal insisted a few times I finally laughed and told her Nok doesn't speak English. Talk about wanting to melt into the floor! The poor gal was so embarrassed she gave Nok extra lol! The girls feasted on candy and played some games and I learned something new about my kids. Cody is determined and has the desire to make it work for her, Nok is determined and demands it works for her! She wouldn't play the games at first and I asked several times. You could tell she thought it childish at first. Then she saw how the game was actually played and that it was in fact challenging and then she nearly squirmed and begged to play. Right away she nearly got it right. She had the right idea but it took a few minutes to get it and then I thought for a moment she was actually going to throw up her hands and shout that she did it. But then of course, she remembered herself and just grinned. I cheered for both of my girls and they won some play dough. I had Cody show Nok right away to not put the play dough in her mouth but to shape it instead. Oh my goodness! She loved it! Looks like play dough will be on Nok's Christmas list.
The Pumpkin Patch was a whole new story. This kid loves the maze!!!! When we first went in she was a bit nervous but then when she realized we were all looking for each other she began running! I could hear her racing through the maze laughing under her breath and snickering when she tricked Cody and headed another direction. Since I was so sick I wasn't able to play long, so I ended up sitting w/ Tommy on a bench and just listening to the girls laughing and running through the maze. Then Nok roasted a marshmallow for the first time. Roasted is the key word here. She just kept lighting it on fire and snickering until I finally took it and pulled it off the stick. She ate it and thought it over, raced through the maze and came back to watch Dad make smores. She loves smores! Finally, Cody showed her where the haunted house was. They were both too scared to go in the big one but the little one was light w/ windows so they went in and Nok just laughed and laughed. We stood outside the door watching her while she prodded and poked at the heads and innards and pointed and giggled at the skeletons. Then we bought little pumpkins for them and I am sure to find them in about 2 months stashed in a drawer somewhere.
We carved pumpkins a few days ago and the girls cleaned the insides out for me. Nok thought it was gross but of course she paused and smiled for the camera. She did think pumpkin carving was strange but neat when I finished. We made a Sun a Moon and a Star. We talked about God's creation and how wonderful it is that He allows us these neat things called pumpkins, and that halloween was originally All Saints Day. Now All Saints Day is November 1st.
We are schooling about 45 minutes to an hour a day. I start loosing Nok's attention about 40 minutes into the lesson so yesterday I tried throwing in a snack in the middle of the lesson. Didn't work. There is just too much going on at home for her to pay attention and she wants soooo badly to be at school. You can tell she loves school. The first day we took Cody in to school after we got back home, Nok headed right to a classroom and seemed perfectly at ease. The Kindergarten teacher is a child magnet and Nok is nuts about her. When we left Cody there and headed for the door Nok was suddenly depressed. I am calling the district again today to see if they can fit her in a couple days a week now instead of starting in the new semester. I think Nok will be much happier and learn a lot more that way. Besides, I am not a teacher and I've never claimed to be. I think it will be smoother on us all and allow Nok some time away from the house. Everyone needs a day off now and then.
Being sick has allowed me plenty of time to think. Mostly about my stomach ache but every now and then I think about how different things are now, but again how they haven't changed at all. We have added a new family member and we couldn't be happier. I know we'll face tough times, everyone does at some point. Even w/ biological children, parents can feel overwhelmed, but we took an even bigger challenge when we took a teen w/ a developmental delay. I know we will eventually see defiance again, maybe a lot of grieving and home sickness, hard times and easy times. But right now I can be happy and say this is the best thing we ever did. I am living in the moment.
Every night at bed time I kiss Cody and then turn to Nok and kiss the air around her face and say Good night ladies. Last night Nok forgot herself and kissed back at me. She quickly realized she had goofed and hadn't meant to do that so she covered her face w/ her blanket and giggled while Dad and I just cracked up laughing. We'll try it again tonight and see how much of an accident it was!
Monday, October 23, 2006
Getting Settled
The arrival home was interesting. The pilot had announced the temperature was about 36 degrees but I think our bodies had quickly forgotten what 36 degrees felt like! Nok was freezing so we rushed to the car. The girls fell asleep and we chatted w/ Darlene until we got home. The first thing I noticed was the trees. The leaves had already fallen! I missed it all! I missed the glorious orange of the Locust tree and the brilliant yellow of the various different trees in our yard and out by the horses. I shrugged it off and focused on greeting my doggies. When I walked in the kitchen I dropped to my knees and took my little doggies in my arms and giggled and petted them like crazy. They had looked at me like I was a stranger they enjoyed visiting w/ every once in a while! We had decided we would surround Nok a bit so the dogs wouldn't scare her too much but she wasn't afraid at all. Cody started showing her around. It was about 1 in the morning and we ended up winding down about 4:30. Yeah, I've never been accused of being the brightest crayon in the box lol!!! Even less brilliant was getting up again at 7:30. But we just couldn't sleep and Nok needed boots and tennis shoes. I couldn't expect her to wear flip flops when it just snowed last week. So, I went shopping. I never thought I'd see the day when I loathed shopping.
Nok has learned sooooo much in just a short amount of time. Just today she really opened up and began saying phrases and words! When we ordered something to drink today she automatically thanked the guy w/out us prompting her to do so! We cheered her on and made a huge deal of it. She grinned the biggest grin and ducked her head. This morning when we dropped Cody off at school, Nok really wanted to stay. She kept walking around looking at the classrooms and smiling at everyone. When I said it was time to go she seemed very disappointed. She has taken a liking to the Kindergarten teacher and I so wish we could find a teacher just like her to help Nok through these tough times.
This post will be short since I am just exhausted. Sorry, everyone! I will come back w/ some good stuff when I've had some rest!
Nok has learned sooooo much in just a short amount of time. Just today she really opened up and began saying phrases and words! When we ordered something to drink today she automatically thanked the guy w/out us prompting her to do so! We cheered her on and made a huge deal of it. She grinned the biggest grin and ducked her head. This morning when we dropped Cody off at school, Nok really wanted to stay. She kept walking around looking at the classrooms and smiling at everyone. When I said it was time to go she seemed very disappointed. She has taken a liking to the Kindergarten teacher and I so wish we could find a teacher just like her to help Nok through these tough times.
This post will be short since I am just exhausted. Sorry, everyone! I will come back w/ some good stuff when I've had some rest!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Going Home
First, I want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Just knowing I had an army out there behind us was enough to motivate me to keep going. Some days I wanted to just give up....and some days I was determined enough to get past a certain immigration worker haha! I appreciate all of your wonderful comments and encouragement. You may never know how much it truly means to me!
So, we were there at the Embassy at 1:30 on Wednesday. We had to go first to Home Land Secuity to pick up the Visa approval at 9:30 or 10 so we were way early getting to the Embassy. We sat and watched the various people coming and going. We saw an older couple (an American man and Thai woman) who looked as if they had been married for years and years. They were so cute together. Then we met a nice young family there. The man was an American and the woman was Thai and their baby was just so cute! Naturally, there was your garden variety pedofile and pervert hovering in the area. We waited forever it seemed and finally the Embassy windows closed. I double checked to make sure we had the right day and time and it was correct. Wednesday the 18th at 3pm. Pretty soon it was 3 and the windows still didn't open. 3:30 rolled around and I started to worry. Then a nice guy came out and called Nok and we collected her Visa. He smiled and said very sweetly "Congratulations!" We were happy parents!
That night we moved to a really nice hotel out by the airport. It took some doing to actually find it but it was awesome and the ride the next day was about 20-30 minutes to the airport. The hotel was called Avana (pronounced Awanna). Swimming pool, sauna, breakfast included! We loved it!
The flight out of Bangkok was a no brainer and Nok can sleep anywhere anytime! In Taipei she was being stalked by some guy headed to California from Vietnam but fortunately we weren't seated in the same area on the plane. From Taipei to L.A. was a real killer although it was 2 hours shorter than when we went to Thailand. Must have something to do w/ headwinds and tailwinds. I was happy about it though. We napped a bit and Nok slept like the dead! We loved the in flight movies and the service on EVA rocks! Nok had a rough time w/ the hamburger they served her and wasn't interested in having me show her how to eat it. Instead, she used her fork and knife and ate the bottom bun in little triangles then the burger then the top bun. It was really fun watching her expression when she tasted yogurt. I thought she was going to loose her lunch but she choked down the first swallow and shook her head and handed the container back to me.
When we got to L.A. we headed straight for a bathroom the didn't float and then went through customs. There was one family there before us so we only had to wait about 10 or 15 minutes. Then they told us to collect our bags. We were confused. They had told us in Bangkok that our bags would go on through to Denver but the customs agent said they tell everyone that but at the first customs stop you have to pick up your bags and then you can go on to your next flight. Talk about strange, but it was good that we did. Tommy's bag had been destroyed in the International flight and we were very surprised he didn't lose anything. They rushed out a brand new bag and he transferred it over. We started running for terminal 7, Nok was even running, but when we made it to the baggage check line we knew we wouldn't make our flight out. We had 20 minutes to make it and stood in line for an hour and a half. When we made it to the counter we told the lady what happened. They were all very rude and told us they would put us on stand by but the last flight out was in an hour a half and was overbooked. They told us to take some things out of our bags to stay the night at LAX and our luggage would go on through to Denver.....but it was very unlikely that we would be on the plane. I began sobbing and told the lady my 7 year old was waiting for me. She instantly softened and said she had done all she could, to go wait and good luck.
We sat down in the gate waiting area and ate McDonald's cheeseburgers and barely tasted what we were eating. We had so craved those burgers but our disappointment was too great. I began praying like crazy. I called my mother-n-law to tell her to let my sister-n-law and Cody know we didn't make our flight and she said "you're kidding!? Darlene and Cody headed to the airport early and they're there waiting!" I began crying again and whispered something back in response. She said she would pray for a miracle. Apparently she got off the phone and called some of my family and asked them to pray for a miracle as well. About 20 minutes later they began boarding the plane and we waited, barely breathing. Finally, they called Tommy and myself to the counter and she said "I don't have three seats together, I'm very sorry" and we said "We don't care! Just get us home!" We boarded the plane feeling like a great burden had been lifted and another had replaced it. Nok seemed very upset. When we had first arrived in L.A. she was looking for Cody and asking me where she was. I explained to her that we weren't quite home yet and she was disappointed but when I began crying at the baggage check-in counter that's when she knew something was wrong. She cried on the way to Denver and then fell asleep.
When we got to Denver I nearly wanted to kiss the floor in the airport! LAX is just such a nasty airport! We felt so dirty and filmy. But we had never been happier to see Denver (I didn't care for Denver much before). I told Nok that Cody was there. She looked at me w/ these great big watery brown eyes and looked like she didn't believe me. I repeated it w/ enthusiasm and she hurried and started looking. And then we saw them. I cupped my hand over my mouth, trying to hold back the tears but Cody was coming closer and I just couldn't stop crying. I took her in my arms and sobbed. Then, I introduced the girls and they were instantly attached! Tommy stayed in the sidelines the whole time, but I was certain that if he had bent down to take Cody in his arms right away he would've broken down right there in the airport. But he recovered better than I did! We collected our bags and started out across the parking lot. I looked back at the girls and Nok had her arm on Cody's back, ushering her across the parking lot just like we had been doing for Nok for the last 3 weeks. They were conversing in two different languages and smiling like crazy! Nok was speaking Thai as fast as she could and Cody was jabbering English right back to her! It was the sweetest moment ever!
So, we were there at the Embassy at 1:30 on Wednesday. We had to go first to Home Land Secuity to pick up the Visa approval at 9:30 or 10 so we were way early getting to the Embassy. We sat and watched the various people coming and going. We saw an older couple (an American man and Thai woman) who looked as if they had been married for years and years. They were so cute together. Then we met a nice young family there. The man was an American and the woman was Thai and their baby was just so cute! Naturally, there was your garden variety pedofile and pervert hovering in the area. We waited forever it seemed and finally the Embassy windows closed. I double checked to make sure we had the right day and time and it was correct. Wednesday the 18th at 3pm. Pretty soon it was 3 and the windows still didn't open. 3:30 rolled around and I started to worry. Then a nice guy came out and called Nok and we collected her Visa. He smiled and said very sweetly "Congratulations!" We were happy parents!
That night we moved to a really nice hotel out by the airport. It took some doing to actually find it but it was awesome and the ride the next day was about 20-30 minutes to the airport. The hotel was called Avana (pronounced Awanna). Swimming pool, sauna, breakfast included! We loved it!
The flight out of Bangkok was a no brainer and Nok can sleep anywhere anytime! In Taipei she was being stalked by some guy headed to California from Vietnam but fortunately we weren't seated in the same area on the plane. From Taipei to L.A. was a real killer although it was 2 hours shorter than when we went to Thailand. Must have something to do w/ headwinds and tailwinds. I was happy about it though. We napped a bit and Nok slept like the dead! We loved the in flight movies and the service on EVA rocks! Nok had a rough time w/ the hamburger they served her and wasn't interested in having me show her how to eat it. Instead, she used her fork and knife and ate the bottom bun in little triangles then the burger then the top bun. It was really fun watching her expression when she tasted yogurt. I thought she was going to loose her lunch but she choked down the first swallow and shook her head and handed the container back to me.
When we got to L.A. we headed straight for a bathroom the didn't float and then went through customs. There was one family there before us so we only had to wait about 10 or 15 minutes. Then they told us to collect our bags. We were confused. They had told us in Bangkok that our bags would go on through to Denver but the customs agent said they tell everyone that but at the first customs stop you have to pick up your bags and then you can go on to your next flight. Talk about strange, but it was good that we did. Tommy's bag had been destroyed in the International flight and we were very surprised he didn't lose anything. They rushed out a brand new bag and he transferred it over. We started running for terminal 7, Nok was even running, but when we made it to the baggage check line we knew we wouldn't make our flight out. We had 20 minutes to make it and stood in line for an hour and a half. When we made it to the counter we told the lady what happened. They were all very rude and told us they would put us on stand by but the last flight out was in an hour a half and was overbooked. They told us to take some things out of our bags to stay the night at LAX and our luggage would go on through to Denver.....but it was very unlikely that we would be on the plane. I began sobbing and told the lady my 7 year old was waiting for me. She instantly softened and said she had done all she could, to go wait and good luck.
We sat down in the gate waiting area and ate McDonald's cheeseburgers and barely tasted what we were eating. We had so craved those burgers but our disappointment was too great. I began praying like crazy. I called my mother-n-law to tell her to let my sister-n-law and Cody know we didn't make our flight and she said "you're kidding!? Darlene and Cody headed to the airport early and they're there waiting!" I began crying again and whispered something back in response. She said she would pray for a miracle. Apparently she got off the phone and called some of my family and asked them to pray for a miracle as well. About 20 minutes later they began boarding the plane and we waited, barely breathing. Finally, they called Tommy and myself to the counter and she said "I don't have three seats together, I'm very sorry" and we said "We don't care! Just get us home!" We boarded the plane feeling like a great burden had been lifted and another had replaced it. Nok seemed very upset. When we had first arrived in L.A. she was looking for Cody and asking me where she was. I explained to her that we weren't quite home yet and she was disappointed but when I began crying at the baggage check-in counter that's when she knew something was wrong. She cried on the way to Denver and then fell asleep.
When we got to Denver I nearly wanted to kiss the floor in the airport! LAX is just such a nasty airport! We felt so dirty and filmy. But we had never been happier to see Denver (I didn't care for Denver much before). I told Nok that Cody was there. She looked at me w/ these great big watery brown eyes and looked like she didn't believe me. I repeated it w/ enthusiasm and she hurried and started looking. And then we saw them. I cupped my hand over my mouth, trying to hold back the tears but Cody was coming closer and I just couldn't stop crying. I took her in my arms and sobbed. Then, I introduced the girls and they were instantly attached! Tommy stayed in the sidelines the whole time, but I was certain that if he had bent down to take Cody in his arms right away he would've broken down right there in the airport. But he recovered better than I did! We collected our bags and started out across the parking lot. I looked back at the girls and Nok had her arm on Cody's back, ushering her across the parking lot just like we had been doing for Nok for the last 3 weeks. They were conversing in two different languages and smiling like crazy! Nok was speaking Thai as fast as she could and Cody was jabbering English right back to her! It was the sweetest moment ever!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
At the Top of it All
Well, it's been another interesting day. So, this morning we headed straight to the Embassy for our 9:30 appointment. We were a bit early but we didn't mind. I mean, after all, we did have an appointment for 9:30AM, right? Ha! Someone is out there just playing jokes on us!
We went to the window as we were told. There were no available seats at all in the entire building either inside or out. The blinds were closed in our window, open in every other window but the one we were told to go to. Finally some guy came to the window and opened it to begin interviews and we told him we had an appointment at 9:30. He said to go to the next window and tell them, but to wait until exactly 9:30 to do it. I waited and then went to the window and stood forever of course. Finally this girl shows up very surprised to see us. Now this is the same girl who issued the appointment time yesterday! So, I told her why we were there and she said to wait once again. After a bit someone called us to the first window. He asked us some questions and asked Nok some too (this guy was a white guy w/ excellent Thai!). Then he wanted to know why we didn't get Nok vaccinated. We told him the doc had told us the Embassy changed the policy and vx were no longer needed. He laughed and said "yes, we still require them. Go back and get them and come back tomorrow. We'll issue the Visa Thursday or Friday." I nearly screamed! We are scheduled to fly out Thursday morning!!!!!!! So we told him. He said they only take paperwork dropoffs on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. We nearly begged him and finally he said "I am leaving at 3. If you can get over there and get it done and back by 3, I will take it and you can pick up the Visa tomorrow afternoon. But I really doubt you can be back by 3 today. I'm very sorry". We ran from the room and leapt into a cab and prayed for smooth traffic. That was right at 11 O'clock. Now if you have ever been in Bangkok at nearly lunchtime you know how heavy and quite still the traffic can be. We had no appointment on top of that. And we were right back at the embassy at exactly Noon!!!!!!! God was smiling on us today!
When I made it to the security checkpoint I had left Tommy and Nok far behind (she walks as if she were 200 years old). I had the Visa Vaccinations and I was hard pressed to make it before they close at noon. The security guy held me up. He said they're closed. I said No! I need in now! This man told me to come back now! To hurry! The security guy laughed and repeated himself but they let me through. The guy was just leaving for lunch and I darted to the counter (after trying patiently not to run over the woman in front of me out on a Sunday walk through the Embassy waiting room). They were as shocked as I was that we made it back in time. He said "did you go? Are you ok? Did you get them done already?!" I said yes! Here they are! He said wow, ok where is the passport?
Ha! Nok was far behind me but I told the guy to wait. I darted once again and shouted for Nok to run. She did (a little) and I raced the passport back inside. They were laughing when they handed us the card that says to come back tomorrow at 3 to pick up the Visa. Finally......I laughed too. Then we had lunch and took a break for a bit before headed to the DSDW for another meeting. They had called us and wanted us to come back so they could see how well Nok has adjusted in a week. They were very surprised and happy that she seems much happier and more open to conversing. It went very well. She visited w/ them for a while and we relaxed and talked. They said there had been 3 meetings going on at the same time, and that the other board members were curious about us and wanted to meet Nok. They said she is the oldest child they have ever had leave the country by this form of adoption. I assume they mean not relative adoption but by foreign adoption. They asked alot of questions that were just repeats and quite a few new questions. We asked them if we could send additional updates and photos and they were very happy about that. We told them we would send the stuff by way of WACAP. They think very highly of WACAP and said over and again they were pleased to work w/ us and were happy that Nok seems content to go now. Talk about happy....by tomorrow after we pick up the Visa I will be nearly on top of the world! Or at least nearly on top of the equator......
We went to the window as we were told. There were no available seats at all in the entire building either inside or out. The blinds were closed in our window, open in every other window but the one we were told to go to. Finally some guy came to the window and opened it to begin interviews and we told him we had an appointment at 9:30. He said to go to the next window and tell them, but to wait until exactly 9:30 to do it. I waited and then went to the window and stood forever of course. Finally this girl shows up very surprised to see us. Now this is the same girl who issued the appointment time yesterday! So, I told her why we were there and she said to wait once again. After a bit someone called us to the first window. He asked us some questions and asked Nok some too (this guy was a white guy w/ excellent Thai!). Then he wanted to know why we didn't get Nok vaccinated. We told him the doc had told us the Embassy changed the policy and vx were no longer needed. He laughed and said "yes, we still require them. Go back and get them and come back tomorrow. We'll issue the Visa Thursday or Friday." I nearly screamed! We are scheduled to fly out Thursday morning!!!!!!! So we told him. He said they only take paperwork dropoffs on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. We nearly begged him and finally he said "I am leaving at 3. If you can get over there and get it done and back by 3, I will take it and you can pick up the Visa tomorrow afternoon. But I really doubt you can be back by 3 today. I'm very sorry". We ran from the room and leapt into a cab and prayed for smooth traffic. That was right at 11 O'clock. Now if you have ever been in Bangkok at nearly lunchtime you know how heavy and quite still the traffic can be. We had no appointment on top of that. And we were right back at the embassy at exactly Noon!!!!!!! God was smiling on us today!
When I made it to the security checkpoint I had left Tommy and Nok far behind (she walks as if she were 200 years old). I had the Visa Vaccinations and I was hard pressed to make it before they close at noon. The security guy held me up. He said they're closed. I said No! I need in now! This man told me to come back now! To hurry! The security guy laughed and repeated himself but they let me through. The guy was just leaving for lunch and I darted to the counter (after trying patiently not to run over the woman in front of me out on a Sunday walk through the Embassy waiting room). They were as shocked as I was that we made it back in time. He said "did you go? Are you ok? Did you get them done already?!" I said yes! Here they are! He said wow, ok where is the passport?
Ha! Nok was far behind me but I told the guy to wait. I darted once again and shouted for Nok to run. She did (a little) and I raced the passport back inside. They were laughing when they handed us the card that says to come back tomorrow at 3 to pick up the Visa. Finally......I laughed too. Then we had lunch and took a break for a bit before headed to the DSDW for another meeting. They had called us and wanted us to come back so they could see how well Nok has adjusted in a week. They were very surprised and happy that she seems much happier and more open to conversing. It went very well. She visited w/ them for a while and we relaxed and talked. They said there had been 3 meetings going on at the same time, and that the other board members were curious about us and wanted to meet Nok. They said she is the oldest child they have ever had leave the country by this form of adoption. I assume they mean not relative adoption but by foreign adoption. They asked alot of questions that were just repeats and quite a few new questions. We asked them if we could send additional updates and photos and they were very happy about that. We told them we would send the stuff by way of WACAP. They think very highly of WACAP and said over and again they were pleased to work w/ us and were happy that Nok seems content to go now. Talk about happy....by tomorrow after we pick up the Visa I will be nearly on top of the world! Or at least nearly on top of the equator......
Monday, October 16, 2006
Time to Spare
Another day....another dollar. For someone else. I cannot stand the immigration officer at INS. He has made things miserable for us! We should've been done on Thursday last week but he insisted we come back this morning. We finally have our Visa appointment for tomorrow morning but he told us to expect alot of questions and to even expect them to deny us. WHY!?!?! No one can tell really. No one knows. They just keep saying things like "She's slow, why do you want a slow child? One who is retarded?" And I just so wanted to ask him "why does your wife want a slow retarded husband???"
So, lemme go back a bit to last week. I am going to have to skip over alot that I wanted to say just to bring you all up to speed on the happenings. So we showed up for the DSDW meeting. We were early along w/ everyone else but it was a pleasant wait. Nok couldn't stand us and most of the time she still can't but she is tolerating us more and more every day. At the meeting we were given Nok's passport since they didn't get it to us before so we could get the medical done. We had tried to call for 2 days to get the passport and no one would answer the phone. Talk about frustration! Doesn't anyone have voice mail here!?!?! Anyway, we sat and waited and we were number 5. There were 17 families and they had 2 meetings going. We met a nice family from Ireland and a German family and another family from the U.S. There were quite a few French and German families there. The meeting went great and they absolutely loved us LOL. They were very pleasant board members and we got down to business right away and got that over w/ in about 10 minutes. Then we sat for another 20 minutes or so just chatting. I'm sure they were making mental notes but mostly it seemed to be curiosity and small talk. I asked if I could take their picture and they were very surpised and happy! We had the social worker take a picture of the three of us w/ the 4 ladies of the DSDW adoption board. We gave them a gift of a box of mixed tea and coffee and they seemed surprised again. We waited on that until just before we left so it didn't seem we were buying them off or anything like that. They were very grateful though and we were all very relaxed and enjoying each others' company. Well, everyone but Nok. They admonished her over and over for being rude (even to them she was rude!) and told her there were three rules to remember. The first was to be a good girl and then the others were things like helping around the house etc. After alot of talking back and forth between them and nothing from Nok they finally raised their voices and she suddenly plastered on a fake smile. As soon as we cleared the building she was back to her old self. Honestly, she acts like a spoiled brat rich kid who is being forced into working for her supper. But, she's getting better! Things are getting much better.
After that meeting we headed right to INS knowing we would never make the Embassy in time. We were right. That jerk kept us there for hours. Finally, we went in to meet him (Kenneth the nerd/jerk/ guy-on-a-powertrip-w/-the-worst-Thai-I-have-ever-heard). Right up front he says " What is the child's name?" When I told him he quickly interrupted me w/ his badly accented and quite horrid Thai and asked Nok instead. She didn't have a clue what he was saying because it was awful! He changed the question and wanted to know how old she was. I started to tell him and he interrupted again and demanded that I "let the CHILD answer". So I waited. I wanted to laugh the entire time. He was such a moron! He brought out a paper and pen and told her to write her name. She stared at it. I told him she couldn't read or write and he insisted of course that she could and she would. Then he changed his mind and told her to write her name in Thai. She couldn't understand his words so I told her to write it (I spoke this in Thai and it made the guy mad). She wrote it and then he wanted her to write something else. She can't of course but he just knew somehow that she was magic and in that moment he had mysteriously instructed her by thought process how to read and write! Then he decided to bring in a translator. Nok told her what her name was and how old she is. The lady asked her to write something and she told them she couldn't read or write. The guy still insists she can and she's just lying. Then the idiot asked who her parents are. She told them the names of her foster parents. He asked if we were aware she had parents. I told him they were foster parents. Then he insisted they were not foster parents, they were her bio parents. So at this point I am ready to leap across the desk and choke his scrawny neck myself! He had the translator repeat the question and had her ask if they were biological. Nok answered yes they were biological ....adoptive parents. Ok, so now the guy is angry at her and repeats the questions all over again. After receiving variations of the answer he asked when was the last time she saw them and she said Tuesday. Of course she saw her foster mother on Tuesday. That was the day we went out there and met her! We told him that. He insisted they must be her biological parents and insisted on getting their phone number. Nok gave them a number. They wrote it down and showed her and asked it if was right. She said yes then repeated a different number back. So, now the guy is angry because Nok is confused and I am patting my girl on the back and telling her telepathically to tell the guy where he can go....politely of course LOL!
So finally we made it out....and yes the guy was alive when we left. I will let him continue to live just to amuse the rest of the normal world. He ended up calling the orphanage to verify and then of course we had to pay for a fax and translations and all that. He wanted us back today. So we went back and he still insisted she could read and write and that he just knew in his mind these people were her parents all though there is no connection or documentation to tie the two together. Sigh....and another wasted day in Bangkok.....
So, lemme go back a bit to last week. I am going to have to skip over alot that I wanted to say just to bring you all up to speed on the happenings. So we showed up for the DSDW meeting. We were early along w/ everyone else but it was a pleasant wait. Nok couldn't stand us and most of the time she still can't but she is tolerating us more and more every day. At the meeting we were given Nok's passport since they didn't get it to us before so we could get the medical done. We had tried to call for 2 days to get the passport and no one would answer the phone. Talk about frustration! Doesn't anyone have voice mail here!?!?! Anyway, we sat and waited and we were number 5. There were 17 families and they had 2 meetings going. We met a nice family from Ireland and a German family and another family from the U.S. There were quite a few French and German families there. The meeting went great and they absolutely loved us LOL. They were very pleasant board members and we got down to business right away and got that over w/ in about 10 minutes. Then we sat for another 20 minutes or so just chatting. I'm sure they were making mental notes but mostly it seemed to be curiosity and small talk. I asked if I could take their picture and they were very surpised and happy! We had the social worker take a picture of the three of us w/ the 4 ladies of the DSDW adoption board. We gave them a gift of a box of mixed tea and coffee and they seemed surprised again. We waited on that until just before we left so it didn't seem we were buying them off or anything like that. They were very grateful though and we were all very relaxed and enjoying each others' company. Well, everyone but Nok. They admonished her over and over for being rude (even to them she was rude!) and told her there were three rules to remember. The first was to be a good girl and then the others were things like helping around the house etc. After alot of talking back and forth between them and nothing from Nok they finally raised their voices and she suddenly plastered on a fake smile. As soon as we cleared the building she was back to her old self. Honestly, she acts like a spoiled brat rich kid who is being forced into working for her supper. But, she's getting better! Things are getting much better.
After that meeting we headed right to INS knowing we would never make the Embassy in time. We were right. That jerk kept us there for hours. Finally, we went in to meet him (Kenneth the nerd/jerk/ guy-on-a-powertrip-w/-the-worst-Thai-I-have-ever-heard). Right up front he says " What is the child's name?" When I told him he quickly interrupted me w/ his badly accented and quite horrid Thai and asked Nok instead. She didn't have a clue what he was saying because it was awful! He changed the question and wanted to know how old she was. I started to tell him and he interrupted again and demanded that I "let the CHILD answer". So I waited. I wanted to laugh the entire time. He was such a moron! He brought out a paper and pen and told her to write her name. She stared at it. I told him she couldn't read or write and he insisted of course that she could and she would. Then he changed his mind and told her to write her name in Thai. She couldn't understand his words so I told her to write it (I spoke this in Thai and it made the guy mad). She wrote it and then he wanted her to write something else. She can't of course but he just knew somehow that she was magic and in that moment he had mysteriously instructed her by thought process how to read and write! Then he decided to bring in a translator. Nok told her what her name was and how old she is. The lady asked her to write something and she told them she couldn't read or write. The guy still insists she can and she's just lying. Then the idiot asked who her parents are. She told them the names of her foster parents. He asked if we were aware she had parents. I told him they were foster parents. Then he insisted they were not foster parents, they were her bio parents. So at this point I am ready to leap across the desk and choke his scrawny neck myself! He had the translator repeat the question and had her ask if they were biological. Nok answered yes they were biological ....adoptive parents. Ok, so now the guy is angry at her and repeats the questions all over again. After receiving variations of the answer he asked when was the last time she saw them and she said Tuesday. Of course she saw her foster mother on Tuesday. That was the day we went out there and met her! We told him that. He insisted they must be her biological parents and insisted on getting their phone number. Nok gave them a number. They wrote it down and showed her and asked it if was right. She said yes then repeated a different number back. So, now the guy is angry because Nok is confused and I am patting my girl on the back and telling her telepathically to tell the guy where he can go....politely of course LOL!
So finally we made it out....and yes the guy was alive when we left. I will let him continue to live just to amuse the rest of the normal world. He ended up calling the orphanage to verify and then of course we had to pay for a fax and translations and all that. He wanted us back today. So we went back and he still insisted she could read and write and that he just knew in his mind these people were her parents all though there is no connection or documentation to tie the two together. Sigh....and another wasted day in Bangkok.....
Thursday, October 12, 2006
A Day In The Life Of......
After we left Nok's foster home we went back into Chiang Mai and visited Ban King Kaew (sounds like BanGingGow) baby home. They were awesome there! They were all prepared for Nok's visit and were calling Nannies and caretakers out of the woodwork! We fell in love with Mae Ma (the buddhist Nun there) They had made a book for us w/ baby pictures and hugged Nok and made a big deal over her. She had no clue who they were but of course they quickly informed her of all of their rolls in her life there. She had been there nearly 7 years. She had had a fever when she was around 2 or 3 and that is how she got CP. Until then, she was the pride of the orphanage! They took special care of her there, providing therapy and developmental games. I can't say the same thing for ViengPing. Nok was nearly adopted by a family in Australia but they couldn't get her Visa so they had to quit. It seemed after that, that they sent her to ViengPing to a foster home to continue out her years in foster care. After that point.....no one cared anymore. I wasn't sad to hear that, but I was so angry I could smell the smoke coming out of my ears!!!!!!!!! How dare they leave a child to the wayside!? She can't read or write and it completely shocks Thai people to hear that. Alot of them don't even believe us so they ask her to read something. It's very embarrassing for her and makes me angry that they do that to her. Most of the time it happens at meal time when we sit down to eat and the menu has no pictures. At the doctor's office the doc asked her to read something since she didn't believe me. Nok couldn't read English of course and the doc was surprised about that but she insisted that Nok could read Thai. She tried it and Nok stared blankly. The doc kept asking her to read it and finally Nok stared at the wall and said she couldn't do it. Thanks a bunch ViengPing for making a successful future adult. Can you tell I am a bit bitter about the system? It's the same all over the world though....I guess being a foster parent should have made me used to it but it hasn't.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The Other Mother
Where was I......the meeting
So there I was, standing like a complete idiot w/ wild children plucking at me while I grinned quite stupidly at my daughter-to-be. I rushed forward and hugged her. She just stood there. I was suddenly overwhelmed and didn't know what to do! We sat her down, had some pictures taken and gave her our gift. She dug in and ripped out the book about cats that I had searched high and low to find the perfect one for her. Then we were ready to go. They nearly shoved us into the van that would drop us off to do some shopping. They said they would pick her up at our room at 3:30 that afternoon and then we were to be picked up the next day to visit her foster home. Everything seemed to go well but we noticed right away that she tended to wander away alot. When people spoke to her she wouldn't look at them and they would often raise their voice or repeat her name over and over until she payed attention. When they picked her up that afternoon our hearts were full and we were happy parents-to-be.
The next day we were picked up and went to the foster home in Bo Sang. We liked the village very much and would've liked to have spent more time there but they were in a big hurry to get rid of us. That's really how we felt. I had three pages of questions and the social worker obviously thought it was ridiculous but we asked anyway. The foster mother didn't mind at all but couldn't speak English so the social worker translated. Now, I must mention here that the workers are all very nice people but tend to be like social workers in America....a bit pushy and everything is just this huge chore for them. Anyway, we took lots of pictures but the humidity was doing strange things to my camera so I hope they are ok. Her foster mother began to tear up as we were leaving. Now leaving was another strange thing. They asked if I was done asking questions and I said yes, Then they quickly ushered Nok to the van. No goodbye, no tears, no hug. Her foster mother started to cry but was trying to hold it back. I went to her and hugged her and cried w/ her and she said Thank you thank you over and over. I told her Thank you for taking care of my daughter for the last 7 years. I know she didn't speak English and I don't speak much Thai....but I think as far as mothering is concerned....we understood each other just fine.
So there I was, standing like a complete idiot w/ wild children plucking at me while I grinned quite stupidly at my daughter-to-be. I rushed forward and hugged her. She just stood there. I was suddenly overwhelmed and didn't know what to do! We sat her down, had some pictures taken and gave her our gift. She dug in and ripped out the book about cats that I had searched high and low to find the perfect one for her. Then we were ready to go. They nearly shoved us into the van that would drop us off to do some shopping. They said they would pick her up at our room at 3:30 that afternoon and then we were to be picked up the next day to visit her foster home. Everything seemed to go well but we noticed right away that she tended to wander away alot. When people spoke to her she wouldn't look at them and they would often raise their voice or repeat her name over and over until she payed attention. When they picked her up that afternoon our hearts were full and we were happy parents-to-be.
The next day we were picked up and went to the foster home in Bo Sang. We liked the village very much and would've liked to have spent more time there but they were in a big hurry to get rid of us. That's really how we felt. I had three pages of questions and the social worker obviously thought it was ridiculous but we asked anyway. The foster mother didn't mind at all but couldn't speak English so the social worker translated. Now, I must mention here that the workers are all very nice people but tend to be like social workers in America....a bit pushy and everything is just this huge chore for them. Anyway, we took lots of pictures but the humidity was doing strange things to my camera so I hope they are ok. Her foster mother began to tear up as we were leaving. Now leaving was another strange thing. They asked if I was done asking questions and I said yes, Then they quickly ushered Nok to the van. No goodbye, no tears, no hug. Her foster mother started to cry but was trying to hold it back. I went to her and hugged her and cried w/ her and she said Thank you thank you over and over. I told her Thank you for taking care of my daughter for the last 7 years. I know she didn't speak English and I don't speak much Thai....but I think as far as mothering is concerned....we understood each other just fine.
Through the Looking Glass
Ok, I finally have some time to blog. Nok is very angry with me so I sent her to our room w/ Tommy and that made her even angrier. Like my dad always said growing up "you can get glad in the same pants ya got mad in!"
So, let me go back to when we left Denver, Colorado. Cody has been well prepared for us being gone so it wasn't hard on her when we left. We walked out the door as she was sitting down to a tea party w/ GramMarcia. I held the tears in check and prayed I could keep my lunch down. At the airport I got out and a few of the tears started to fill my eyes. I swallowed it down and headed in to check in. Our baggage was perfect, everything went smoothly and we were ready to go. We sat a waited a bit and boarded the plane w/out incident and when we were headed down the runway I couldn't hold back any longer. I sobbed silent tears for the stress we had gone through but mostly for my baby girl. I was leaving her behind and I suddenly didn't want to. I wanted her back in my arms. But I dried it up instead and enjoyed seeing the city lights pass us by. We were in L.A. in no time and that place was awful! It stunk so bad there!!! We were a bit shocked and when we boarded the plane we went straight away to wash. We had a light film over our skin and felt filthy! On the way into L.A. the lights of the city seemed to stretch for days upon days and it was really beautiful. I felt the same way leaving although I wouldn't want to live there haha. There was just this beautiful glow, twinkling back at me from the ground and it was a strange peaceful feeling. We were finally going to bring home the child we have prayed for for 2 years.
The trip over the ocean was uneventful. I don't know if that was a good thing or not haha! We started to get a bit stir crazy....some cabin fever going on. While everyone else was sleeping, I was up jogging in place and wishing I was sleepy. I was exhausted of course but the seats on planes are too much like seats and not enough like beds! Imagine that....The airport in Taipei is wonderful! Very clean and well organized and we actually enjoyed our short stay there. I had this white thing that looked like a giant onion only it was like bread and filled w/ a meat substance. It was soooo good! I think i'll have another when we go back through there next week.
Wow....next week. Hardly seems like it. Time has just flown by. Sometimes it seems we've been here forever and other times it seems like only yesterday we arrived. When we got to Bangkok we had to wait in the airport for 6 hours before we could check our baggage. Then another 2 hours to fly to Chiang Mai. They took us out by bus and we climbed the mobile steps to the plane. Interesting experience. We really really liked Chiang Mai. When we arrived there a friend met us and took us to our room. We stayed at the T-Room Guesthouse. It was fair. But we arrived at midnight so it didn't matter what it looked like....we didn't care! Our friends had brought snack and drinks for us and it was so sweet of them! They are wonderful wonderful people and we will never forget all they have done for us!
The next morning we took a Songthaew to the orphanage as we were instructed to be there at 9:30. We were there about 9 and of course they were not expecting us. They asked us if we could come back tomorrow at 9:30 and I politely told them no thank you, that we had been told to come today and we would be in Chiang Mai a short amount of time. They quickly sent a worker to pick up Nok.
For the next 2 hours we were mauled by children who are starved for attention and affection. There was one little girl (it was a group of 3-4 year old boys and girls) who repeated everything I said! Word for word entire sentences and perfect pronunciation. There was this silly little boy who would try to keep our attention by putting toys on his head and around his neck and ankles and running wildly from one end of the room to the other lol. It was hilarious. They tried to draw on me w/ my pen, tried to take my hair thing and glasses and drew scribbles in my notebook, while Tommy built boxes of foam toys and put them in it. Then the lady watching them just left! Kids were everywhere and it was really odd. We were never offered water and had forgotten to take any. We finally escaped the mob and found a bench in the shade to wait. Just when the kids had located us again and spread the word Tommy said "hey, here she comes". I looked up and instantly fell in love w/ my daughter. She was shuffling along and smiling so big!
So, let me go back to when we left Denver, Colorado. Cody has been well prepared for us being gone so it wasn't hard on her when we left. We walked out the door as she was sitting down to a tea party w/ GramMarcia. I held the tears in check and prayed I could keep my lunch down. At the airport I got out and a few of the tears started to fill my eyes. I swallowed it down and headed in to check in. Our baggage was perfect, everything went smoothly and we were ready to go. We sat a waited a bit and boarded the plane w/out incident and when we were headed down the runway I couldn't hold back any longer. I sobbed silent tears for the stress we had gone through but mostly for my baby girl. I was leaving her behind and I suddenly didn't want to. I wanted her back in my arms. But I dried it up instead and enjoyed seeing the city lights pass us by. We were in L.A. in no time and that place was awful! It stunk so bad there!!! We were a bit shocked and when we boarded the plane we went straight away to wash. We had a light film over our skin and felt filthy! On the way into L.A. the lights of the city seemed to stretch for days upon days and it was really beautiful. I felt the same way leaving although I wouldn't want to live there haha. There was just this beautiful glow, twinkling back at me from the ground and it was a strange peaceful feeling. We were finally going to bring home the child we have prayed for for 2 years.
The trip over the ocean was uneventful. I don't know if that was a good thing or not haha! We started to get a bit stir crazy....some cabin fever going on. While everyone else was sleeping, I was up jogging in place and wishing I was sleepy. I was exhausted of course but the seats on planes are too much like seats and not enough like beds! Imagine that....The airport in Taipei is wonderful! Very clean and well organized and we actually enjoyed our short stay there. I had this white thing that looked like a giant onion only it was like bread and filled w/ a meat substance. It was soooo good! I think i'll have another when we go back through there next week.
Wow....next week. Hardly seems like it. Time has just flown by. Sometimes it seems we've been here forever and other times it seems like only yesterday we arrived. When we got to Bangkok we had to wait in the airport for 6 hours before we could check our baggage. Then another 2 hours to fly to Chiang Mai. They took us out by bus and we climbed the mobile steps to the plane. Interesting experience. We really really liked Chiang Mai. When we arrived there a friend met us and took us to our room. We stayed at the T-Room Guesthouse. It was fair. But we arrived at midnight so it didn't matter what it looked like....we didn't care! Our friends had brought snack and drinks for us and it was so sweet of them! They are wonderful wonderful people and we will never forget all they have done for us!
The next morning we took a Songthaew to the orphanage as we were instructed to be there at 9:30. We were there about 9 and of course they were not expecting us. They asked us if we could come back tomorrow at 9:30 and I politely told them no thank you, that we had been told to come today and we would be in Chiang Mai a short amount of time. They quickly sent a worker to pick up Nok.
For the next 2 hours we were mauled by children who are starved for attention and affection. There was one little girl (it was a group of 3-4 year old boys and girls) who repeated everything I said! Word for word entire sentences and perfect pronunciation. There was this silly little boy who would try to keep our attention by putting toys on his head and around his neck and ankles and running wildly from one end of the room to the other lol. It was hilarious. They tried to draw on me w/ my pen, tried to take my hair thing and glasses and drew scribbles in my notebook, while Tommy built boxes of foam toys and put them in it. Then the lady watching them just left! Kids were everywhere and it was really odd. We were never offered water and had forgotten to take any. We finally escaped the mob and found a bench in the shade to wait. Just when the kids had located us again and spread the word Tommy said "hey, here she comes". I looked up and instantly fell in love w/ my daughter. She was shuffling along and smiling so big!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Wild Kid
Hey, everyone! This week has been crazy! I really think Nok can't stand us, but her social worker has told her she needs to go....that it will be best for her to go. So far she has tried everything from trying to make phone calls without permission to jumping out of the taxi into traffic. She stops in the street nearly causing accidents but when we try to take her arm she snatches away and tries to get away. It's not easy and Tommy is quickly loosing his patience. Today is Tuesday and we have been trying to get the passport so we can get the medical to take to the interview tomorrow but we can't get through to the social worker! No one will answer the phone! We'll keep trying. We are getting ready to call Khun Oh (we had the wrong number but thanks to some fast gals on yahoo adoption groups we have it right now!) I am sorry to make this one short again....I found a cheap place down the road to use internet so I will try to make it back there this evening and give you some lengthy details about Thailand. I can already tell you that Khon Kaen is awesome and Bangkok is horrible! We really like Chiang Mai alot too and we were sad to go. I will type more later! Bye!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Busy Thailand
We made it to Thailand! It's very exciting here but it's also hot and muggy. It's not unbareable though. We met Nok today. It was very exciting but then strange....we didn't know what to do w/ each other! So, we asked to be dropped off to do some shopping and were taken to the mall. Their mall here is just like the mall at home...crowded and overpriced so we'll be finding some place else to shop now! Nok went back to her foster home tonight an we'll be picking her up tomorrow morning for good. I'm not quite so sure she's ready but she is nuts about Tom so I think we'll all be ok. Maybe she likes him so much because he's quiet like her and maybe I am too overwhelming or it could be because he's the guy w/ the money and she likes jewelry and chocolate! haha! I will try to back track in some future posts but I just don't have time right now. It costs 30 baht an hour which isn't bad but it could add up real quick in the next 3 weeks. Stay tuned!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Holding My Girls
We're nearly gone! We are scheduled to leave tomorrow evening! It's so exciting but I'm also getting a bit nervous. It's finally happening and we just can't believe it! Cody is excited but a bit clingy too, so I have been letting her cling to me as much as she wants. We're keeping her home from school to spend her birthday with her tomorrow.
It will be exciting to go but I'm sure to cry when I leave Cody. She has been to my mom's house for a month long stay before but it's been a couple years. I feel I've invested my entire heart and soul into her and it will be hard to kiss her goodbye, knowing it will be three long weeks before I can hold her again. But, I will soon be able to hold both of my girls!
It will be exciting to go but I'm sure to cry when I leave Cody. She has been to my mom's house for a month long stay before but it's been a couple years. I feel I've invested my entire heart and soul into her and it will be hard to kiss her goodbye, knowing it will be three long weeks before I can hold her again. But, I will soon be able to hold both of my girls!
Monday, September 25, 2006
Plan of Action
When "it" hit the fan last week, I thought I would never see Nok. I was sure I would never have the chance to hug her and tell her how long we have wanted her to be our daughter. It was hard, emotional, and I was just a wreck! I had cried so much my eyes looked bruised and my face was swollen. Tommy was terribly upset and had worked out a plan to go ahead and go to Thailand....only I wouldn't be coming back. No No No....he wasn't planning on getting rid of me!
Once again it comes down to money. Our agency told us "this adoption isn't going to happen. We won't be responsible for this child." All because of money. Yes, they wanted more money again. They said we wouldn't be able to go unless we paid them. We felt totally and completely stuck. They had our hearts in their hands and were mercilessly squeezing. What more could we do? We gave them what they wanted. And in return we feel as if we have bought a child from them. It's a feeling that still makes my stomach churn and I'm in complete awe that someone could get away with something like this.
For two days I cried and at the end of the second day I snapped out of it and got busy. I've learned paperwork doesn't do itself and most agencies just want money. WACAP has been absolutely wonderful and they have gone above and beyond what we expected. Encore! We are leaving for Bangkok, Thailand on Friday September 29th. The day Cody turns 7.
We've been through so much it almost seems unreal. We've been told time and again that no one should have to go through this much just to adopt a child. Especially an older child with a disability. Of course we knew this already but it helps to know people empathize with us. Shame on those agencies who "sell" children, shame on those directors whose hearts have dollar signs through the middle. But it's not over yet. We haven't even traveled yet! And there is still finalization to go through months after our return. But, I will have my daughters.
God promised He would never give us anything more than what we could handle. I think He maxed me out this past week. I have been through the fire, I'm still not shiny or shaped like a beautiful jewel, but I really don't know if I could handle anything that difficult again. Family and friends keep asking "But, there is a coup going on in Bangkok right now! There are tanks in the city and people are shooting! Will you be ok?" Yeah....we'll be fine. It's not much to worry about. What we've been through this past week overshadows any hardships we can actually see coming toward us. It's the unknown that scares me. And you can see shooting and violence any day in Denver. The only differences are there are no tanks on Denver's streets....and people actually get shot and killed in Denver!
When Tommy said he had formulated a plan, I knew what he was going to say. He had thought about it all day long while driving a silage truck back and forth, loading in the field and dumping in the pit. The monotony droned him into a plan of action. He walked in the door that night and said "Well?" I gave him the run down. It took 3 hours to cover everything that had happened. He was furious when I was done telling him what our agency had done to us. He said "I had decided we would pack as much as we could, put it in storage and apply for Cody's passport. Then I would go to Thailand with you and go through the DSDW meeting and the rest of the process. I was going to get an apartment for you and Nok and then come back home, sell as much stuff as I could and Cody and I were moving to Thailand with you and Nok for the next 2 years. Until we could come back home." It was a great plan. A lot of heart and emotion went into the making of it. A lot of sacrifice and love. That's what a "Daddy" is made of. The hard part was not knowing what was going to happen. The easy part would have been saying yes. And the part that scares me the most.....At the end of 2 years, I may not have wanted to come back.
Once again it comes down to money. Our agency told us "this adoption isn't going to happen. We won't be responsible for this child." All because of money. Yes, they wanted more money again. They said we wouldn't be able to go unless we paid them. We felt totally and completely stuck. They had our hearts in their hands and were mercilessly squeezing. What more could we do? We gave them what they wanted. And in return we feel as if we have bought a child from them. It's a feeling that still makes my stomach churn and I'm in complete awe that someone could get away with something like this.
For two days I cried and at the end of the second day I snapped out of it and got busy. I've learned paperwork doesn't do itself and most agencies just want money. WACAP has been absolutely wonderful and they have gone above and beyond what we expected. Encore! We are leaving for Bangkok, Thailand on Friday September 29th. The day Cody turns 7.
We've been through so much it almost seems unreal. We've been told time and again that no one should have to go through this much just to adopt a child. Especially an older child with a disability. Of course we knew this already but it helps to know people empathize with us. Shame on those agencies who "sell" children, shame on those directors whose hearts have dollar signs through the middle. But it's not over yet. We haven't even traveled yet! And there is still finalization to go through months after our return. But, I will have my daughters.
God promised He would never give us anything more than what we could handle. I think He maxed me out this past week. I have been through the fire, I'm still not shiny or shaped like a beautiful jewel, but I really don't know if I could handle anything that difficult again. Family and friends keep asking "But, there is a coup going on in Bangkok right now! There are tanks in the city and people are shooting! Will you be ok?" Yeah....we'll be fine. It's not much to worry about. What we've been through this past week overshadows any hardships we can actually see coming toward us. It's the unknown that scares me. And you can see shooting and violence any day in Denver. The only differences are there are no tanks on Denver's streets....and people actually get shot and killed in Denver!
When Tommy said he had formulated a plan, I knew what he was going to say. He had thought about it all day long while driving a silage truck back and forth, loading in the field and dumping in the pit. The monotony droned him into a plan of action. He walked in the door that night and said "Well?" I gave him the run down. It took 3 hours to cover everything that had happened. He was furious when I was done telling him what our agency had done to us. He said "I had decided we would pack as much as we could, put it in storage and apply for Cody's passport. Then I would go to Thailand with you and go through the DSDW meeting and the rest of the process. I was going to get an apartment for you and Nok and then come back home, sell as much stuff as I could and Cody and I were moving to Thailand with you and Nok for the next 2 years. Until we could come back home." It was a great plan. A lot of heart and emotion went into the making of it. A lot of sacrifice and love. That's what a "Daddy" is made of. The hard part was not knowing what was going to happen. The easy part would have been saying yes. And the part that scares me the most.....At the end of 2 years, I may not have wanted to come back.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Peace and Calm
Peace. It's been a peaceful weekend and we finally celebrated! It felt good to be content and at peace that we're going to Thailand and everything is working out just fine! I am making final arrangements for everything from Cody's school schedule to our domestic tickets while in Thailand!
Last night I was tucking Cody in bed and she said "Mom, when are you going to get my sister?" She knows travel is coming up pretty soon and she's been getting clingy. I assured her it would be soon and she wanted to know what day Gramma was coming to stay with her and what day we were leaving. I told her and she said "OK, good night!". This morning she comes bursting out of the bathroom (she was looking at the calendar) and says "Mom! Guess what!? GramMarcia will be here in 10 days and you are leaving to get my sister in 11 days!" Of course, I was both shocked and surprised that she knew what day today was and what day we were leaving! I had shown her once last week but didn't think she would really pay attention. But, I think in her mind she thinks we will be gone a day or two and then we'll be back. I think it will be a long three weeks......
Last night I was tucking Cody in bed and she said "Mom, when are you going to get my sister?" She knows travel is coming up pretty soon and she's been getting clingy. I assured her it would be soon and she wanted to know what day Gramma was coming to stay with her and what day we were leaving. I told her and she said "OK, good night!". This morning she comes bursting out of the bathroom (she was looking at the calendar) and says "Mom! Guess what!? GramMarcia will be here in 10 days and you are leaving to get my sister in 11 days!" Of course, I was both shocked and surprised that she knew what day today was and what day we were leaving! I had shown her once last week but didn't think she would really pay attention. But, I think in her mind she thinks we will be gone a day or two and then we'll be back. I think it will be a long three weeks......
Friday, September 15, 2006
When the Storms Pass
When will the insanity stop! I hope everything is fixed now. Every time I get happy something bad happens. We had applied for a grant quite a while back and had requested $1,000 but had actually thought we wouldn't get it. I contacted the grant agency several weeks ago and I guess they realized we were serious. They requested tons of paperwork including our home study. And that's when our problems started up again.
To make a long story short, our previous agency had some unethical practices so we left them and got special permission from the state to contract to an agency for post placement services only. Our dossier, including our home study, had already gotten state approval as well as approval from USCIS and Thailand. We were ready to go. Then, our agency had suddenly decided they wanted an outrageous sum of money for things we had paid for out of our pockets. They said they were revoking our home study. No one seemed to think they could actually do that since everything was already finished! We didn't want any trouble w/ them so we struck a deal. They called at 9pm Wednesday to negotiate and came up at 11am Thursday to update our home study and revalidate the original. We felt really good about it and they left happy as well.
Then I called the grant agency to see if we got the grant. Not only did they award it but they awarded $2,000 instead of just $1,000!!!!! I'd like to think they based their decision solely on my honesty and our great need for this money before we go! I felt on top of the world! Our plane tickets are paid for, we should be getting those paper tickets by FedEx in the next few days and will receive our updated home study sometime mid-next week. I'm still afraid to smile or be too excited but I can't help feeling happy again. We leave in two weeks.
While all of this was going on, Monday through Thursday of this week, I felt lost. I felt so hopeless and begged God to give me the faith that moves mountains. He instilled peace in my spirit but my heart still pounded and my stomach was in knots. I had gone to the church at one point to drop some stuff off and no one was there. When I entered the sanctuary I felt my Creator calling me to kneel before Him and tell Him all my troubles. I did. I knelt down and began speaking to Him and crying. I laid across the steps and I wept. For 20 minutes my spirit cried for peace and hope and when I stood up I felt like everything was going to be ok. I went on w/ my day, wondering what would happen to us but knowing in my heart it would all work out. Yesterday, I went a bit early to pick up Cody from school just so I could drop by God's house for a few moments. Again, no one was there. I knelt, this time w/ a happy heart and a peaceful spirit and I simply said "Thanks!" I told my Friend what I was thankful for and thanked Him again for giving me the faith that not only moved a mountain, but moved my spirit too. Just a closer Walk With Thee.....
When I went back out to my vehicle I turned back toward the church and smiled and said "Thanks for being home so we could talk. I enjoyed it." And He said He did too. He told me to come back soon....and He promised He'd be there.
To make a long story short, our previous agency had some unethical practices so we left them and got special permission from the state to contract to an agency for post placement services only. Our dossier, including our home study, had already gotten state approval as well as approval from USCIS and Thailand. We were ready to go. Then, our agency had suddenly decided they wanted an outrageous sum of money for things we had paid for out of our pockets. They said they were revoking our home study. No one seemed to think they could actually do that since everything was already finished! We didn't want any trouble w/ them so we struck a deal. They called at 9pm Wednesday to negotiate and came up at 11am Thursday to update our home study and revalidate the original. We felt really good about it and they left happy as well.
Then I called the grant agency to see if we got the grant. Not only did they award it but they awarded $2,000 instead of just $1,000!!!!! I'd like to think they based their decision solely on my honesty and our great need for this money before we go! I felt on top of the world! Our plane tickets are paid for, we should be getting those paper tickets by FedEx in the next few days and will receive our updated home study sometime mid-next week. I'm still afraid to smile or be too excited but I can't help feeling happy again. We leave in two weeks.
While all of this was going on, Monday through Thursday of this week, I felt lost. I felt so hopeless and begged God to give me the faith that moves mountains. He instilled peace in my spirit but my heart still pounded and my stomach was in knots. I had gone to the church at one point to drop some stuff off and no one was there. When I entered the sanctuary I felt my Creator calling me to kneel before Him and tell Him all my troubles. I did. I knelt down and began speaking to Him and crying. I laid across the steps and I wept. For 20 minutes my spirit cried for peace and hope and when I stood up I felt like everything was going to be ok. I went on w/ my day, wondering what would happen to us but knowing in my heart it would all work out. Yesterday, I went a bit early to pick up Cody from school just so I could drop by God's house for a few moments. Again, no one was there. I knelt, this time w/ a happy heart and a peaceful spirit and I simply said "Thanks!" I told my Friend what I was thankful for and thanked Him again for giving me the faith that not only moved a mountain, but moved my spirit too. Just a closer Walk With Thee.....
When I went back out to my vehicle I turned back toward the church and smiled and said "Thanks for being home so we could talk. I enjoyed it." And He said He did too. He told me to come back soon....and He promised He'd be there.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Climbing Back Out
I started breathing again although very cautiously. I think I'm afraid to be happy now...afraid something else is going to happen. By 1:15 on Thursday we had gotten a call back saying everything was going to be ok. Immigration has decided they're going to be ok with us bringing our daughter back, although we may face a bit of resistance and maybe some troubles at finalization. While we were waiting to hear back from our agency on the immigration issue, the seats for either of the flights we needed booked up very fast. We're hoping our agent calls tomorrow with tickets that fit our needs. As soon as he does I am booking them haha!
So, right now, I'm thinking of things that need to be done before we go. I made directions to all the places that would need to be visited. Just in case the people staying here need them. I am buying extra stuff like dog food, toilet paper and Mac N Cheese. Can't be running out of things like that! Making sure things are flowing well and hopefully I won't forget anything when we leave!
We received a pleasant surprise today! Nok's English teacher sent us some pictures and a nice long email about her. It was so exciting and we were thrilled to get it! Our girl is growing up so fast and we aren't even there to see it! But, we're leaving in less than 3 weeks and we'll have all that time after we pick her up to get to know her.
Cody has decided to measure herself against my height. She's decided she's as tall as my armpit. Hmmm.....could be an interesting concept. I can just see our next visit to the doctor for a checkup "Ok, Cody, step on the scale. Wonderful! It looks like you're 1/16th of your mommy's current weight! Now let's check your height. Oh my goodness! You are growing like a weed! You're already armpit high!"
Yeah, I'm in a great mood tonight!
So, right now, I'm thinking of things that need to be done before we go. I made directions to all the places that would need to be visited. Just in case the people staying here need them. I am buying extra stuff like dog food, toilet paper and Mac N Cheese. Can't be running out of things like that! Making sure things are flowing well and hopefully I won't forget anything when we leave!
We received a pleasant surprise today! Nok's English teacher sent us some pictures and a nice long email about her. It was so exciting and we were thrilled to get it! Our girl is growing up so fast and we aren't even there to see it! But, we're leaving in less than 3 weeks and we'll have all that time after we pick her up to get to know her.
Cody has decided to measure herself against my height. She's decided she's as tall as my armpit. Hmmm.....could be an interesting concept. I can just see our next visit to the doctor for a checkup "Ok, Cody, step on the scale. Wonderful! It looks like you're 1/16th of your mommy's current weight! Now let's check your height. Oh my goodness! You are growing like a weed! You're already armpit high!"
Yeah, I'm in a great mood tonight!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Helium
Okay, I just typed this huge blog entry and lost the entire thing. I just broke down and began sobbing. I can't take this today!
You know when you blow up a balloon with helium and then pinch the end and let a bit of air escape and it makes that silly squealing noise? Well, that didn't happen to us. Someone just stabbed our balloon with a knife and popped it.
Let me go back a bit. This may take a while.
We were thrilled. I was bouncing off the walls like a kid with ADHD. I was checking into Guest Houses, exploring plane tickets, brushing up on my Thai, gathering groceries and other resources for the people who are staying here while we're gone for three weeks, running to the bank to get things notarized, racing to the post office to get things mailed....it's just been plain crazy here. And terribly exciting! We received quite a few friendly emails from Guest Houses, along with some great rates. A very nice person from one of our online Adoption groups sent the info of a travel agent near us. He was all over it! He worked late, he got us great prices and a good flight schedule....and we were preparing to book our tickets today. We were booking tickets to bring home a child we've been waiting for for 1 year and 9 months! We were anxious to know our path was there, paid for, and waiting for us to step onto it and sit for 21 hours, flying through the air at unreal speeds, unreal heights. Kinda like what we were already feeling.
Last night I was headed to the VBS reunion for the kids at our church and thought I'd better check my email just to make sure there wasn't anyone I needed to get back to right away. I had spent most of the day on and off the phone with our agency making sure things were signed correctly and this and that. I called and left a message for her reminding her we needed copies of our home study to take with us for Nok's Visa.
And then someone plunged the dull knife into my balloon. Our agency rep emailed and said something like -
Don't book your tickets yet. Your home study is expired and you will not be able to get your child's Visa without a current home study.
WhAt?!?!?!
Did they just happen to look at our home study and say "Golly-gee! It appears their home study is expired! Whatever shall we do?"
So, I went to the vehicle and got in. Drove to the VBS reunion and tried to appear thrilled to be there. I was in charge of recreation. I put on a huge smile, shouted at the top of my voice the instructions for the games, and tried my hardest to not break down right there in front of all those smiling faces and happy parents. I felt empty and numb inside.
We are not allowed to own a copy of our home study in our state. We haven't even seen the home study and we don't know when it was actually done. We had no idea this was coming but we had specifically asked about 2-3 weeks ago if all of our documents were ok and nothing was about to expire. And we were told....
yep, you guessed it "Everything is just fine!"
Obviously not.
Now we wait. I have no idea what's going to happen. I have been going through my day mechanically. get up, let the dogs out, wake Cody up, dress her, feed her, drive her to school, wave at the appropriate people, turn on my blinker, stop at the stop sign, etc. I don't remember the drive back home. I do remember thinking at one point "that light is always green when I come this way. Why did it turn red today?" I'm pretty sure I stopped on a dime. Got home, did some laundry and stared at the wall. I need someone to tell me what to think, what to do, how to smile, what to say. I can't think for myself and I have no desire to. I remember thinking a few days ago "Is it legal to be this happy?" Obviously not.
And we're back to playing the waiting game. That was fast. That little glory and victory moment didn't last long. I can't handle this stress. I just need a break.
You know when you blow up a balloon with helium and then pinch the end and let a bit of air escape and it makes that silly squealing noise? Well, that didn't happen to us. Someone just stabbed our balloon with a knife and popped it.
Let me go back a bit. This may take a while.
We were thrilled. I was bouncing off the walls like a kid with ADHD. I was checking into Guest Houses, exploring plane tickets, brushing up on my Thai, gathering groceries and other resources for the people who are staying here while we're gone for three weeks, running to the bank to get things notarized, racing to the post office to get things mailed....it's just been plain crazy here. And terribly exciting! We received quite a few friendly emails from Guest Houses, along with some great rates. A very nice person from one of our online Adoption groups sent the info of a travel agent near us. He was all over it! He worked late, he got us great prices and a good flight schedule....and we were preparing to book our tickets today. We were booking tickets to bring home a child we've been waiting for for 1 year and 9 months! We were anxious to know our path was there, paid for, and waiting for us to step onto it and sit for 21 hours, flying through the air at unreal speeds, unreal heights. Kinda like what we were already feeling.
Last night I was headed to the VBS reunion for the kids at our church and thought I'd better check my email just to make sure there wasn't anyone I needed to get back to right away. I had spent most of the day on and off the phone with our agency making sure things were signed correctly and this and that. I called and left a message for her reminding her we needed copies of our home study to take with us for Nok's Visa.
And then someone plunged the dull knife into my balloon. Our agency rep emailed and said something like -
Don't book your tickets yet. Your home study is expired and you will not be able to get your child's Visa without a current home study.
WhAt?!?!?!
Did they just happen to look at our home study and say "Golly-gee! It appears their home study is expired! Whatever shall we do?"
So, I went to the vehicle and got in. Drove to the VBS reunion and tried to appear thrilled to be there. I was in charge of recreation. I put on a huge smile, shouted at the top of my voice the instructions for the games, and tried my hardest to not break down right there in front of all those smiling faces and happy parents. I felt empty and numb inside.
We are not allowed to own a copy of our home study in our state. We haven't even seen the home study and we don't know when it was actually done. We had no idea this was coming but we had specifically asked about 2-3 weeks ago if all of our documents were ok and nothing was about to expire. And we were told....
yep, you guessed it "Everything is just fine!"
Obviously not.
Now we wait. I have no idea what's going to happen. I have been going through my day mechanically. get up, let the dogs out, wake Cody up, dress her, feed her, drive her to school, wave at the appropriate people, turn on my blinker, stop at the stop sign, etc. I don't remember the drive back home. I do remember thinking at one point "that light is always green when I come this way. Why did it turn red today?" I'm pretty sure I stopped on a dime. Got home, did some laundry and stared at the wall. I need someone to tell me what to think, what to do, how to smile, what to say. I can't think for myself and I have no desire to. I remember thinking a few days ago "Is it legal to be this happy?" Obviously not.
And we're back to playing the waiting game. That was fast. That little glory and victory moment didn't last long. I can't handle this stress. I just need a break.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Thailand - Here We Come!
3...2...1....we have a travel date!!!!!!!!!!!!! We received our call yesterday as I was driving down the road. The agency worker said "We received your child history and I am getting that ready to send to you. But....also....and this never happens at this stage.....they sent a travel date for you as well!" I had to pull off the road before I wrecked! She said we actually had a choice of dates and that never happens either. We chose the October 11th date and should be leaving around September 30th!!!! We'll be back around October 21st. I can't believe I actually got to sleep last night and for the most part slept the majority of the night. Of course I was up early this morning wagging my tail and anxious to post this so everyone knows. When she told me the great news I think I was in shock. I realize now I was blubbering nonsense and had a pretty good idea I should be asking questions but had no idea what questions to ask. So, we're exploring plane tickets, talking about finances, and planning Cody's birthday party for just right before we leave. She wanted to ride bumper cars for her birthday and we jumped at the opportunity to enjoy ourselves as well. It should be a great way to spend up some frustration and energy the weekend before we leave the country.
So, we're excited and anxious and nervous and can't wait to be on the plane headed for the next adventure of a lifetime!
So, we're excited and anxious and nervous and can't wait to be on the plane headed for the next adventure of a lifetime!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Blur of Words
The words and images of this past week have all blurred together to make one deliriously happy person -
(me, of course!). On Monday we got the call to prepare the two interesting answers to the very in-depth, two-fold questions. I got those knocked out in less than 15 minutes and they were on their way to Thailand later that day, by fax or email. We were told not to expect to hear anything until next week. Well.......
On Thursday we received another call from our agency. I really thought it was strange and it scared me a bit to answer the phone. I didn't want my perfect week to be ruined! But it was thrilling to hear the news! We have been formally matched and received a thumbs up for approval from the board! We have some paperwork we'll need to fill out and wait for our child's history and then we should be given a date on when we need to be there. Whew!
(me, of course!). On Monday we got the call to prepare the two interesting answers to the very in-depth, two-fold questions. I got those knocked out in less than 15 minutes and they were on their way to Thailand later that day, by fax or email. We were told not to expect to hear anything until next week. Well.......
On Thursday we received another call from our agency. I really thought it was strange and it scared me a bit to answer the phone. I didn't want my perfect week to be ruined! But it was thrilling to hear the news! We have been formally matched and received a thumbs up for approval from the board! We have some paperwork we'll need to fill out and wait for our child's history and then we should be given a date on when we need to be there. Whew!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Smiles Meant For Heaven
Okay, so today I will spend the rest of the day smiling the biggest, dummest smile I can manage. Today I received a card from my teenager!!!! I don't know whose address it is, who sent it (trying to find that part out now), and who cared enough for us to make sure it was sent to us....but it was a thrilling moment for me. So many wonderful things have been happening the last few days I feel as if my heart will explode at any moment!
I was out changing the sprinkler in our yard when I felt the mailbox nearly shouting for my attention. I looked up and sighed, and headed for it. We've been getting bills the last few days (it's that time of the month) and I really didn't want to check the mail at all. I pulled out a sale paper and brown envelope and thought hmmmm this looks like more fun than the sale paper. And then I flipped it over to read who it was from. My heart nearly stopped when I read the name at the top of the return address. Nok. I couldn't breathe! The world rocked backward for a moment and tipped sideways and then my heart kickstarted and began pounding and I rushed back to the house. When I reached the steps I thought to myself "I am going to enjoy every single moment of this. I don't know what's in it, but I know I will love it". So I took myself to my relaxing basket swing and slowly opened the envelope. A card. It's orange (I love orange) and it has a bright yellow flower with a light orange center pasted on as well as a light green leaf with dark green "veins". The stem was drawn on with a marker. A single sheet of white paper is attached to the inside with some stickers (a smiley face and a heart!) and written inside are the words:
smile
because
I
love you
from Nok
And the tears of joy and delight flowed so easily right along w/ Thanksgiving and Praise to my Creator. I lifted my face to heaven and gave Him my biggest smile and said "Thank You".
I was out changing the sprinkler in our yard when I felt the mailbox nearly shouting for my attention. I looked up and sighed, and headed for it. We've been getting bills the last few days (it's that time of the month) and I really didn't want to check the mail at all. I pulled out a sale paper and brown envelope and thought hmmmm this looks like more fun than the sale paper. And then I flipped it over to read who it was from. My heart nearly stopped when I read the name at the top of the return address. Nok. I couldn't breathe! The world rocked backward for a moment and tipped sideways and then my heart kickstarted and began pounding and I rushed back to the house. When I reached the steps I thought to myself "I am going to enjoy every single moment of this. I don't know what's in it, but I know I will love it". So I took myself to my relaxing basket swing and slowly opened the envelope. A card. It's orange (I love orange) and it has a bright yellow flower with a light orange center pasted on as well as a light green leaf with dark green "veins". The stem was drawn on with a marker. A single sheet of white paper is attached to the inside with some stickers (a smiley face and a heart!) and written inside are the words:
smile
because
I
love you
from Nok
And the tears of joy and delight flowed so easily right along w/ Thanksgiving and Praise to my Creator. I lifted my face to heaven and gave Him my biggest smile and said "Thank You".
Monday, August 21, 2006
Disco Inside My Head
There's so much going on in there it sounds like what I imagine an 80's Disco would've sounded like. I can practically see the disco ball reflecting a million colors across the backs of my eyelids!
Our agency called today. It was good news, but a bit confusing. I guess Thailand has some pretty specific questions they wanted us to answer. So I got online right away and answered them! I hope by this evening or tomorrow morning our answers will be on their way by fax to a certain Thai Social Worker and then by Tuesday night (in America) they will be headed to a board meeting. We don't know what will happen next but it looks like we should be traveling sooner than we thought!
We've also been invited to an Elephant Polo Match in Thailand but I don't think we'll be traveling that soon. So many wonderful things are happening that I almost feel a bit lost in the crowd. Wait a minute....what crowd? There's no one here but me, and nothing to do at the moment, but I feel rushed and intimidated for some reason. Guess I better go clear my head. Wish me luck, cuz I'm deliriously happy! haha!
Our agency called today. It was good news, but a bit confusing. I guess Thailand has some pretty specific questions they wanted us to answer. So I got online right away and answered them! I hope by this evening or tomorrow morning our answers will be on their way by fax to a certain Thai Social Worker and then by Tuesday night (in America) they will be headed to a board meeting. We don't know what will happen next but it looks like we should be traveling sooner than we thought!
We've also been invited to an Elephant Polo Match in Thailand but I don't think we'll be traveling that soon. So many wonderful things are happening that I almost feel a bit lost in the crowd. Wait a minute....what crowd? There's no one here but me, and nothing to do at the moment, but I feel rushed and intimidated for some reason. Guess I better go clear my head. Wish me luck, cuz I'm deliriously happy! haha!
Friday, August 18, 2006
The Insane Waiting Game
Now that something is happening I feel a bit loopy with the wait. I can't help but wonder where our daughter's paperwork is at now, whose hands is it in, when will it arrive. Has it made it out of the orphanage and into the DSDW office? Has it made it from the Orphanage Director to the DSDW Director? Has it made it far enough to already be in the hands of our Thai social worker??? And then I think that there could possibly be something in her file that will make me weep, that will make me wish I had never known, something that will keep me awake long into the night wondering how I can fix it. I always felt that way as a foster parent. Opening, for the first time, the file of a child who just moved into our home. Reading, but not understanding, the horrors that child has faced in just a few short years. What has our new daughter had to go through until we found her? Will this child be different than the others? What will I see? Can I fix it? Where did this crazy idea come from? The idea that I could actually fix something emotionally troubling? I think we've been waiting for our daughter for way too long haha! Gives me too much time to think! I was talking to my mom just yesterday about how well I thrive in a chaotic environment, and she laughed and agreed that I do well. I can't handle sitting and having time to think these things out. I need to be moving and thinking on several different tracks at once.
I started a journal for our new daughter. Cody has a baby book but what will a teenager come with? I started this journal back in October 2004 and it's over halfway filled with my thoughts specific to our adopting this child. I know it won't take the place of watching her crawl or seeing her take her first step, and being able to write about that. But I hope our journal will one day provide insight for her to know how much we couldn't wait to have her home. Cody just started school and I have too much time on my hands now. It's August and we keep trying to guess when we'll be invited to travel. Will it be September or October? What week? What will be going on that i'll have to try to juggle or cancel? It's the waiting game.... still.....and it's driving me nuts!
I started a journal for our new daughter. Cody has a baby book but what will a teenager come with? I started this journal back in October 2004 and it's over halfway filled with my thoughts specific to our adopting this child. I know it won't take the place of watching her crawl or seeing her take her first step, and being able to write about that. But I hope our journal will one day provide insight for her to know how much we couldn't wait to have her home. Cody just started school and I have too much time on my hands now. It's August and we keep trying to guess when we'll be invited to travel. Will it be September or October? What week? What will be going on that i'll have to try to juggle or cancel? It's the waiting game.... still.....and it's driving me nuts!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Strange Dreams....and The Road Less Traveled
Ok, the past few nights I have been having strange dreams. I remember when I was pregnant with Cody I had this recurring dream (nearly a nightmare) that I was in labor in Russia (I was reading "The Romanovs" at the time)and everyone was speaking Russian. No one was speaking English but somehow I knew something was wrong. I was in labor for days and weeks and everyone kept speaking Russian to me! I was so confused and angry that the baby just wouldn't come and that everyone was speaking a language I couldn't understand! Now I feel that way again. I started having strange dreams a couple weeks ago and they seem pregnancy and adoption related. Confusing things happen in my dreams and people are speaking languages I just can't comprehend. I didn't really understand until about 27 minutes ago. Suddenly it came to me! The language of adoption! I was reading over some guidelines and information for what we will have to do in Thailand, and all the places we have to go and forms we have to file. There's the Passport stuff, the Visa stuff, and DSDW stuff. We have to go to the USCIS office and US Embassy, as well as the Doctor's office, and the scariest one - The DSDW office for the adoption interview. Who knows where else we will have to go. We have to make sure her paperwork is translated for the appropriate people, get copies of the appropriate forms, make sure the translations are letter for letter. We will have appointments that we have to show up for and then wait for indefinite amounts of time, and certainly something won't be quite right and we'll need to redo or show up another day for this or that. Ahhh the adoption and immigration process. And just think....there are thousands of illegals from Mexico here, they didn't have to pay much to get here.....no waiting for appointments, no long lines, no forms to fill out, no translating documents or making copies, no faxes, and no interviews to see if they meet the standards of the sending country. Actually, it makes me ill to think of it. We're doing what's necessary to add a wonderful addition to our little family, and as much as we dread the paperwork and all the fees, we know it's what we are meant to do. The Road Less Traveled. When I had Cody it was new ground, new territory. This is all brand new too. But I have the feeling, should we adopt again, it will still feel all new. A new road, one we've never been down before.
Thousands upon thousands of adoptive parents have been this way before, but we feel like adventurers. Not taking the road that's worn well, but the road less traveled. Here is an exerpt (that's a word, right?) by that famous poem by Robert Frost:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
But really.....is the poem about the road less traveled or the one not taken? I feel as if I've traveled both....or all. And I will continue down the road until I come to another fork....another decision. This time, when I look around me, we'll be a family of 4. Someone once told me "you can't save them all." She was referring to the children in the custody of social services. I guess I can only travel one road at a time, but i'll try my best to choose the right road, because I can only choose one road. I'll always travel the road less popular, the road that leads to emotional and spiritual growth. And that will make all the difference.
Thousands upon thousands of adoptive parents have been this way before, but we feel like adventurers. Not taking the road that's worn well, but the road less traveled. Here is an exerpt (that's a word, right?) by that famous poem by Robert Frost:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
But really.....is the poem about the road less traveled or the one not taken? I feel as if I've traveled both....or all. And I will continue down the road until I come to another fork....another decision. This time, when I look around me, we'll be a family of 4. Someone once told me "you can't save them all." She was referring to the children in the custody of social services. I guess I can only travel one road at a time, but i'll try my best to choose the right road, because I can only choose one road. I'll always travel the road less popular, the road that leads to emotional and spiritual growth. And that will make all the difference.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Moving at a slug's pace
Yep, something is happening. We don't really know when it will happen but i'm just thrilled we are moving toward the shore of the stagnant adoption pond. After feeling like i've been running in circles for months I finally stopped, rubbed some sticks together, and lit a fire. What's on the BBQ, you ask? Social Workers, Adoption workers, and Agency Directors. If it were any other situation in life I would probably laugh at everyone around me but it's really not funny at all. Naturally, I can't help but smile though. Back on July 31st our worker was supposed to call the Thai social worker in charge of our case. She didn't call. Of course, we waited all week and couldn't stand waiting any longer before I finally emailed her on Friday. I heard something like this "No, I didn't call....blah blah blah....." and after hearing she didn't call I blocked everything else out and was a bit ticked. I think she knew that. So, she assured me she would call this week and we assumed she meant Wednesday. Well....as I have said since my teenage years being influenced by my dear old Dad "Miracles never cease!" She called! I guess they are especially concerned about not getting the appropriate paperwork yet so the director of Social Services is going to the orphanage to get it herself. THE DIRECTOR!!!! Wow. It must be serious because I was lead to believe this has never happened. We were assured of course that it would be September before the paperwork made it into the correct hands and onto us. Looks like October will be our travel month. (Huge Sigh). The worker made certain we knew it could be a matter of a couple weeks or it could be a matter of a couple months. But, at least something is happening! The pace of a slug....a snail, a turtle.....at least it's a step forward. I did learn that we've been matched. At some point someone matched our family and Nok and it was awesome to hear the words "Yes, you ARE matched" and I laughed. I suddenly felt lighthearted. I felt a connection and I hope Nok feels it too. Cody smiled at me because I was happy and she knew we'd just heard something good. After all the hoops we've jumped through, all the time we've waited, it was good to hear our daughter is only half a world away......
Thursday, July 27, 2006
A Week to Keep My Mind Occupied
This week so far has proven helpful in keeping my mind occupied. I almost let it by me that the native land tour was over on Sunday. But I'd like to think I am too sharp to let things by me so easily. Wellllll.....maybe "sharp" isn't the right word to properly portray me LOL!!!
The family in Thailand now has "adopted" their son. It isn't an official adoption until after 6 months of being home. Then the Thai government sends finalization paperwork. I'm so excited for them! Can't wait to hear all about it when they get home. They have a blog they've been updating everyone with and it's been interesting to read about their adoption journey. So many thoughts and feelings go into an adoption! And there are so many questions with no answers.....so many people involved who need to say goodbye when you take the child home with you.
I was recently told about a situation that made my heart weep. A certain foster parent was hurt badly by a family who took their "adopted" toddler from her the very same day they met him. He was apparently screaming and afraid and didn't want to leave yet and they just took him. The foster mother wanted so badly to have one more night with the child she had cared for for so long. My heart just sobbed for this woman. We had planned to let Nok choose when she wanted to go. We can wait to take her.....we'll have her for the rest of our lives! But, her foster mother will have to say goodbye. The family that is there adopting their teenage son let him choose and he chose to go with them the same day. They did go back for visits before they left for Bangkok and I think that was helpful for everyone involved. We're more than willing to take our time when it comes to new adventures and frontiers and saying goodbye to the old ones. It's a scary world when you're a teenager jumping into something new. I couldn't imagine leaving my home, my country, my people, everything I have always known to move with a family I just met that very day to a country I have never even dreamed of going to! Frightening, upsetting, frustrating, and sorrowful. Given the situation and how much I love trying everything there is to try in the world, I would go. But not without a heavy heart and the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would grieve and not be able to speak for a day or two until I set it in my mind to make it work, to make the best of the situation. And I hope that's what Nok does. Grieve when she needs to, and love us as her new and permanent family.
I feel a bit melancholy today for some reason. Must be the weather, or maybe hearing about the toddler, and foster mother who is mourning his loss. Just as I start to doubt God, doubt His presence in my life and surroundings, He's there again. Lifting me up and holding me close. Some exciting things happend this week that refreshed my faith. Alot of you reading this know that I started a website to sell my photography. You can go to www.romanticafineartphotography.com to see my work. Anyway, I have shown my work at the county fair for years upon years and have won tons of ribbons for places 3 through 6th hahahah! But in the last several years I had gotten used to seeing those first place ribbons. I had decided that since I will be selling my work professionally this would be the last year I would show my work at the county fair. It wouldn't be fair to others for me to continue (and our fair doesn't have a professional category anyway). I told my Creator and the ultimate Creator of my work that I would really like to win Grand Champion since it's my last year. Welllll....I didn't win Grand Champion, the competition was pretty stiff, but at the last moment....just when I knew all hope was lost....I was awarded not only First Place and Class Champion, but Reserve Overall Champion as well!!!!!!!! I was so excited I forgot myself and stood up and screamed and started crying. I know it sounds silly now when I think about it, but the emotions I experienced were incredible! Everything from doubt to triumph crossed my features and I will never forget that moment. I praised my Creator for making such beautiful live artwork in the world for me to take pictures of. Every morning He paints a sunrise just for me and every evening He paints a sunset for me as well. During the course of the day He brings birds to sing to me and flowers to delight my eyes! And those are just a few of the things He does for us all.
In addition to that small distraction, we'll be picking up an exchange student this afternoon and we'll have her for almost 2 weeks. It'll be an excellent way to pull my thoughts away from the gloom of waiting to travel to Thailand. Ever present in my mind is the child I have yet to meet.....a part of me half a world away (plus one hour). I read this poem once and it branded itself into my mind. I want to share it with you. Whoever wrote this was a person who felt the ultimate joy of adopting a child.....something a great deal of the world should experience if they are at all able or so inclined.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never think for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart -
But in it!
The family in Thailand now has "adopted" their son. It isn't an official adoption until after 6 months of being home. Then the Thai government sends finalization paperwork. I'm so excited for them! Can't wait to hear all about it when they get home. They have a blog they've been updating everyone with and it's been interesting to read about their adoption journey. So many thoughts and feelings go into an adoption! And there are so many questions with no answers.....so many people involved who need to say goodbye when you take the child home with you.
I was recently told about a situation that made my heart weep. A certain foster parent was hurt badly by a family who took their "adopted" toddler from her the very same day they met him. He was apparently screaming and afraid and didn't want to leave yet and they just took him. The foster mother wanted so badly to have one more night with the child she had cared for for so long. My heart just sobbed for this woman. We had planned to let Nok choose when she wanted to go. We can wait to take her.....we'll have her for the rest of our lives! But, her foster mother will have to say goodbye. The family that is there adopting their teenage son let him choose and he chose to go with them the same day. They did go back for visits before they left for Bangkok and I think that was helpful for everyone involved. We're more than willing to take our time when it comes to new adventures and frontiers and saying goodbye to the old ones. It's a scary world when you're a teenager jumping into something new. I couldn't imagine leaving my home, my country, my people, everything I have always known to move with a family I just met that very day to a country I have never even dreamed of going to! Frightening, upsetting, frustrating, and sorrowful. Given the situation and how much I love trying everything there is to try in the world, I would go. But not without a heavy heart and the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would grieve and not be able to speak for a day or two until I set it in my mind to make it work, to make the best of the situation. And I hope that's what Nok does. Grieve when she needs to, and love us as her new and permanent family.
I feel a bit melancholy today for some reason. Must be the weather, or maybe hearing about the toddler, and foster mother who is mourning his loss. Just as I start to doubt God, doubt His presence in my life and surroundings, He's there again. Lifting me up and holding me close. Some exciting things happend this week that refreshed my faith. Alot of you reading this know that I started a website to sell my photography. You can go to www.romanticafineartphotography.com to see my work. Anyway, I have shown my work at the county fair for years upon years and have won tons of ribbons for places 3 through 6th hahahah! But in the last several years I had gotten used to seeing those first place ribbons. I had decided that since I will be selling my work professionally this would be the last year I would show my work at the county fair. It wouldn't be fair to others for me to continue (and our fair doesn't have a professional category anyway). I told my Creator and the ultimate Creator of my work that I would really like to win Grand Champion since it's my last year. Welllll....I didn't win Grand Champion, the competition was pretty stiff, but at the last moment....just when I knew all hope was lost....I was awarded not only First Place and Class Champion, but Reserve Overall Champion as well!!!!!!!! I was so excited I forgot myself and stood up and screamed and started crying. I know it sounds silly now when I think about it, but the emotions I experienced were incredible! Everything from doubt to triumph crossed my features and I will never forget that moment. I praised my Creator for making such beautiful live artwork in the world for me to take pictures of. Every morning He paints a sunrise just for me and every evening He paints a sunset for me as well. During the course of the day He brings birds to sing to me and flowers to delight my eyes! And those are just a few of the things He does for us all.
In addition to that small distraction, we'll be picking up an exchange student this afternoon and we'll have her for almost 2 weeks. It'll be an excellent way to pull my thoughts away from the gloom of waiting to travel to Thailand. Ever present in my mind is the child I have yet to meet.....a part of me half a world away (plus one hour). I read this poem once and it branded itself into my mind. I want to share it with you. Whoever wrote this was a person who felt the ultimate joy of adopting a child.....something a great deal of the world should experience if they are at all able or so inclined.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never think for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart -
But in it!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Nothing new....Still
Nope....there's not anything new. I just wanted to spend some time getting to know how this blogging thingy works and holy cow! I must not be the brightest crayon in the box! I must've accidentally made two new entries with nothing in them! So then I had to figure out how to get rid of the something with nothing in it. I think I was successful.
So anyway, I spoke with our worker and she said there is nothing new. Of course I knew that already but just had to make sure. The Native Land Tour is still going on and our worker thinks the social worker in Thailand who is assigned to our case will probably get a few days off after the Tour and then be back on and running like crazy. I hope Nok's paperwork is there waiting for the worker to make it back to her office and get it sent to us.
Can't wait to hear when Nok gets the package we sent! Our friends will be preparing to leave Chiang Mai in a few days and head to Bangkok with the boy they are adopting. I haven't heard anything from her yet but assume everything is going well. I want to know what emotions she experienced and how if FELT to hug him and speak to him for the first time.
I'm all about emotions and actions. Sound.....Spoken word.....Feelings....What was it like? What will it be like? Do I want to experience it again? There will never be another first time.....to hold Cody in my arms right after birth and meet her face to face for the first time ever.....to hold Nok in my arms right after meeting her for the first time ever and say the first thing that comes to mind....knowing she can't understand a thing I say! Hahaha! Firsts....There is a First time for everything and I want to know what it's like! I want to scorch that first meeting into my mind forever....those first words....and of course those first tears.
So anyway, I spoke with our worker and she said there is nothing new. Of course I knew that already but just had to make sure. The Native Land Tour is still going on and our worker thinks the social worker in Thailand who is assigned to our case will probably get a few days off after the Tour and then be back on and running like crazy. I hope Nok's paperwork is there waiting for the worker to make it back to her office and get it sent to us.
Can't wait to hear when Nok gets the package we sent! Our friends will be preparing to leave Chiang Mai in a few days and head to Bangkok with the boy they are adopting. I haven't heard anything from her yet but assume everything is going well. I want to know what emotions she experienced and how if FELT to hug him and speak to him for the first time.
I'm all about emotions and actions. Sound.....Spoken word.....Feelings....What was it like? What will it be like? Do I want to experience it again? There will never be another first time.....to hold Cody in my arms right after birth and meet her face to face for the first time ever.....to hold Nok in my arms right after meeting her for the first time ever and say the first thing that comes to mind....knowing she can't understand a thing I say! Hahaha! Firsts....There is a First time for everything and I want to know what it's like! I want to scorch that first meeting into my mind forever....those first words....and of course those first tears.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Your Mission.....Should You Choose To Accept It.....
Yeah yeah.....I decided to start blogging. I had told myself it wasn't necessary but it turns out that it will be easier for everyone to keep track of our adoption process this way. We've been through so much already, I kinda wish I had done this a Year and 8 months ago! It would've simplified alot of story telling and retelling so that everyone knew what was going on. But, that's life.....
So, I don't really know where to start. The here and now? Okaaaay......Well there is nothing new today. Oh, yeah, by the way it's Tuesday July 18th. And that would be 2006. Anyway, back to the story.....
So, we're waiting. They told us not to expect to hear anything the month of July because of the Native Land Tour that's going on until Sunday. I don't wanna sound rude or anything but I wish they would just hurry up. I mean, HeLloOoOoO we have paperwork that is just sitting on someone's desk! Waiting....and waiting.....until they get Nok's paperwork sent from the orphanage.
Oh, yeah, we sent her another package. I'm excited to hear when she gets it! We sent the package by way of a family headed to Thailand to adopt their teenage son. I'm excited for them. They should be meeting him in about 4 hours. I'll bet they can't even sleep or eat for the excitement of finally meeting their child! I think that's what'll happen to me. Won't be able to sleep or eat......then i'll be too exhausted to enjoy the first meeting. Naaaaaaaa! I'm just messin! I mean I may not be able to sleep at all or eat much..... but that first time we meet Nok....Wow! I can hardly wait! Sometimes the excitement is just waaaay scary. Here lately i've started to think someone made this child up. They made up this kid that we'd love to adopt and bring into our home. It's all a big joke that someone thinks is funny. And when I find out who made this horrible joke I'm gunna .....well.....it's not gunna be a pretty sight. No, really, I know she's real and we can't wait to meet her.
I'll write more later when I think I need to say some more stuff.
So, I don't really know where to start. The here and now? Okaaaay......Well there is nothing new today. Oh, yeah, by the way it's Tuesday July 18th. And that would be 2006. Anyway, back to the story.....
So, we're waiting. They told us not to expect to hear anything the month of July because of the Native Land Tour that's going on until Sunday. I don't wanna sound rude or anything but I wish they would just hurry up. I mean, HeLloOoOoO we have paperwork that is just sitting on someone's desk! Waiting....and waiting.....until they get Nok's paperwork sent from the orphanage.
Oh, yeah, we sent her another package. I'm excited to hear when she gets it! We sent the package by way of a family headed to Thailand to adopt their teenage son. I'm excited for them. They should be meeting him in about 4 hours. I'll bet they can't even sleep or eat for the excitement of finally meeting their child! I think that's what'll happen to me. Won't be able to sleep or eat......then i'll be too exhausted to enjoy the first meeting. Naaaaaaaa! I'm just messin! I mean I may not be able to sleep at all or eat much..... but that first time we meet Nok....Wow! I can hardly wait! Sometimes the excitement is just waaaay scary. Here lately i've started to think someone made this child up. They made up this kid that we'd love to adopt and bring into our home. It's all a big joke that someone thinks is funny. And when I find out who made this horrible joke I'm gunna .....well.....it's not gunna be a pretty sight. No, really, I know she's real and we can't wait to meet her.
I'll write more later when I think I need to say some more stuff.
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