Ok, the past few nights I have been having strange dreams. I remember when I was pregnant with Cody I had this recurring dream (nearly a nightmare) that I was in labor in Russia (I was reading "The Romanovs" at the time)and everyone was speaking Russian. No one was speaking English but somehow I knew something was wrong. I was in labor for days and weeks and everyone kept speaking Russian to me! I was so confused and angry that the baby just wouldn't come and that everyone was speaking a language I couldn't understand! Now I feel that way again. I started having strange dreams a couple weeks ago and they seem pregnancy and adoption related. Confusing things happen in my dreams and people are speaking languages I just can't comprehend. I didn't really understand until about 27 minutes ago. Suddenly it came to me! The language of adoption! I was reading over some guidelines and information for what we will have to do in Thailand, and all the places we have to go and forms we have to file. There's the Passport stuff, the Visa stuff, and DSDW stuff. We have to go to the USCIS office and US Embassy, as well as the Doctor's office, and the scariest one - The DSDW office for the adoption interview. Who knows where else we will have to go. We have to make sure her paperwork is translated for the appropriate people, get copies of the appropriate forms, make sure the translations are letter for letter. We will have appointments that we have to show up for and then wait for indefinite amounts of time, and certainly something won't be quite right and we'll need to redo or show up another day for this or that. Ahhh the adoption and immigration process. And just think....there are thousands of illegals from Mexico here, they didn't have to pay much to get here.....no waiting for appointments, no long lines, no forms to fill out, no translating documents or making copies, no faxes, and no interviews to see if they meet the standards of the sending country. Actually, it makes me ill to think of it. We're doing what's necessary to add a wonderful addition to our little family, and as much as we dread the paperwork and all the fees, we know it's what we are meant to do. The Road Less Traveled. When I had Cody it was new ground, new territory. This is all brand new too. But I have the feeling, should we adopt again, it will still feel all new. A new road, one we've never been down before.
Thousands upon thousands of adoptive parents have been this way before, but we feel like adventurers. Not taking the road that's worn well, but the road less traveled. Here is an exerpt (that's a word, right?) by that famous poem by Robert Frost:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
But really.....is the poem about the road less traveled or the one not taken? I feel as if I've traveled both....or all. And I will continue down the road until I come to another fork....another decision. This time, when I look around me, we'll be a family of 4. Someone once told me "you can't save them all." She was referring to the children in the custody of social services. I guess I can only travel one road at a time, but i'll try my best to choose the right road, because I can only choose one road. I'll always travel the road less popular, the road that leads to emotional and spiritual growth. And that will make all the difference.
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