The Other Mother

Where was I......the meeting
So there I was, standing like a complete idiot w/ wild children plucking at me while I grinned quite stupidly at my daughter-to-be. I rushed forward and hugged her. She just stood there. I was suddenly overwhelmed and didn't know what to do! We sat her down, had some pictures taken and gave her our gift. She dug in and ripped out the book about cats that I had searched high and low to find the perfect one for her. Then we were ready to go. They nearly shoved us into the van that would drop us off to do some shopping. They said they would pick her up at our room at 3:30 that afternoon and then we were to be picked up the next day to visit her foster home. Everything seemed to go well but we noticed right away that she tended to wander away alot. When people spoke to her she wouldn't look at them and they would often raise their voice or repeat her name over and over until she payed attention. When they picked her up that afternoon our hearts were full and we were happy parents-to-be.

The next day we were picked up and went to the foster home in Bo Sang. We liked the village very much and would've liked to have spent more time there but they were in a big hurry to get rid of us. That's really how we felt. I had three pages of questions and the social worker obviously thought it was ridiculous but we asked anyway. The foster mother didn't mind at all but couldn't speak English so the social worker translated. Now, I must mention here that the workers are all very nice people but tend to be like social workers in America....a bit pushy and everything is just this huge chore for them. Anyway, we took lots of pictures but the humidity was doing strange things to my camera so I hope they are ok. Her foster mother began to tear up as we were leaving. Now leaving was another strange thing. They asked if I was done asking questions and I said yes, Then they quickly ushered Nok to the van. No goodbye, no tears, no hug. Her foster mother started to cry but was trying to hold it back. I went to her and hugged her and cried w/ her and she said Thank you thank you over and over. I told her Thank you for taking care of my daughter for the last 7 years. I know she didn't speak English and I don't speak much Thai....but I think as far as mothering is concerned....we understood each other just fine.